Mystic Eyes
by Aishuu
Summary: Some things are just unavoidable. Years after the vision, Hitomi picks up the tarot cards again to once again find herself spinning in the wheel of fate. Then, at college, she meets a young man who looks exactly like Van Fanel...
1. Wheel of Fortune

Aishuu Offers:  
Mystic Eyes  
shitsui@yahoo.com  
standard disclaimers  
Personal Note: Due to circumstances beyond my control, my penname has changed. I formerly wrote under Quicksilver.  
Background: The way the Tarot was abused in Escaflowne has always really annoyed me, and what the fandom (ie inexperienced fanfic writers) has done to it only made it worse. My goal with this piece is to do a continuation that explores some aspects of the series, and do an accurate representation of the Tarot. For this, we're going to assume that Hitomi uses an Ukiyou Tarot deck, not the modified Merlin seen in the series. My understanding of the tarot is less than perfect, but... I'm trying. I don't claim to be an expert, but I do lay the occasional spread out. I'm going to attempt to use the entire major arcana, but considering there's so many cards… I'm also going to be a chicken and avoid dealing with the minor arcana if I can avoid it! Main resource is located at: http://www.learntarot.com/   
  
Prologue:  
WHEEL OF FORTUNE  
KEYWORDS: Destiny, Turning Point, Movement, Personal Vision  
  
  
"In Greek mythology, there are three women known as the Fates. They are responsible for spinning the destiny of each person at his or her birth. It is not surprising that the Fates are spinners because the wheel of fortune is an apt image for the elusive turns of a man's fate. This is the theme of Card 10.   
The Wheel of Fortune is one of the few cards in the major arcana that does not have a human figure as a focal point. This is because its center is above the realm of man - in the higher levels (clouds) where the destinies of all are woven together in the tapestry of life. The tarot recognizes that each person sets his own path in life, but is also subject to the larger cycles that include him. We experience chance events that appear to be accidents although they are part of the great plan.   
In readings, the Wheel of Fortune can indicate a vision or realization that strikes with great force. If you've been struggling with a problem or tough situation, this card can signal that you will find the answer if you stand back and view everything from a larger perspective.   
The Wheel of Fortune also represents unexpected encounters and twists of fate. You can't predict surprises; you can only be aware when one is circling around. Indeed, Card 10 often suggests wheel-like actions - changes in direction, repeating cycles and rapid movement. When the energy of the Wheel arrives, you will feel life speed up. You are caught in a cyclone that may deposit you anywhere. "Round and round and round she goes, and where she stops, nobody knows."   
********************  
  
She was chasing after him; always, she was chasing after Van.   
  
People who watched Kanzaki Hitomi run always tried to describe her afterwards, but were unable to. It was as though she were flying, competing in a shadowy race against an opponent only she could see. Her fleeting steps were a joy to watch; yet there was such a sorrow to her running. Even though she won race after race, racking in an impressive display of medals, the smile she gave her fans never reached her eyes.  
  
Amano and Yukari were unable to understand exactly what had happened. The day after Hitomi had fainted, Hitomi had insisted on racing again. Despite her friends' protests, she had taken her place in the starting blocks. When it was over, Yukari gazed at her stopwatch in disbelief. 00:12:44.  
  
From then on there was no stopping her. People began to talk about college scholarships and professional races- perhaps even the Olympics in 2004. Hitomi seemed to be oblivious, unhappy with her efforts. No matter how fast she ran, she could never catch Van, or outrun the past.  
  
Teachers always found it disconcerting to have Hitomi in their classes. She was the prettiest girl in her section usually, yet she ignored the boys. Her eyes would be vague, yet when she was called upon, she would invariably shoot back the proper answer. After a while, they would learn not to ask anything of her. She was just too different, too not within their world.  
  
Yukari sat on track, watching Hitomi prepare for the last track meet of her high school career. Within a month, she would be graduating and entering KO on a full track scholarship.   
  
Hitomi's shoulder-length brown hair was pulled back strictly from her face, and she was stretching carefully to avoid pulling a muscle. Yukari smiled at her friend, and was relieved to see Hitomi give her a wink. "This will be no problem," she assured her friend.   
  
Yukari smiled at her. "I know that, silly!" she said cheerfully. "I was thinking that this was the end of the era... I won't be your manager again- after all, we're going to different colleges," she said.  
  
"It's ok- I understand you want to be with Amano-sempai. Just promise to invite me to your wedding," she said playfully.  
  
"Invite? You're going to be my maid of honor!" Yukari declared, setting them both off into a fit of giggles. Then Hitomi slipped her warm-up outfit off, smiling as she stepped into the blocks as the race was announced.  
  
She sighed and shut her eyes, feeling the wind brush against her cheek. Then there was the sound of the starter's gun, and she was off, and there was nothing except her and her feet... and the memory of the man she loved. Perhaps this time he would come back to her. Perhaps.... perhaps... perhaps...  
  
All too soon it was over, and she slowed to a jog after feeling the ribbon break across her chest. She had won. Bringing herself to a jog, she turned to see her time, though she had little real curiosity. Her eyes widened at the hush from the crowd, and she wondered what was wrong. Perhaps one of the other runners had injured herself?  
  
Her breath caught with disbelief as her eyes fell on the clock. Her stunned mind refused to acknowledge it.  
  
11:49. Exactly one second over the world record currently held by Flo Jo herself. She had just clocked a world-class time. She blinked a few times, but her time was still there, blinking over the words "TRACK RECORD."   
  
Yukari walked up to her slowly, then, at the last second, threw herself at Hitomi, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Hitomi!" she shrieked joyfully, "you... you're amazing! You can easily qualify for the National team- think what you can do with some professional coaching!"  
  
Hitomi, rather then feeling joyful, felt only numbness as the crowd began to chant her name. Someone pulled her free of Yukari's warm embrace, and she was passed from person to person as everyone congratulated her. She accepted their words with quiet dignity, and when she mounted the podium to receive her award, bending over so the official could slide the ribbon around her neck, she wondered what the point was. Why did she have to run with a crowd? She ran for only one person, and he wasn't here. He had never been here- perhaps she had dreamed him. She often wondered if she had.  
  
An hour later it was over, and Yukari was handing on her arm, pulling her as she chattered eagerly about her latest accomplishment. Hitomi nodded and followed along, not really paying attention. Poor Yukari; Hitomi never really paid attention anymore.  
  
"...Tarot?"   
  
"What?" Hitomi said, the word jerking her out of her reverie.  
  
"Have you read the tarot to see your future lately?" she asked.  
  
Hitomi's eyes darkened. "Yukari, you know I don't read the tarot anymore."  
  
Yukari's eyes flared angrily. "You don't do anything anymore! What the hell happened to you, Hitomi? Wasn't I your best friend? You're not at all like the Hitomi I grew up with!"  
  
Hitomi blinked, trying to assimilate Yukari's sudden outburst. "Yukari..." she said hesitantly, trying to find the words for her pain.  
  
"Don't 'Yukari' me, Hitomi! I don't know you anymore! Don't you realize how long it's been since I've seen you really laugh? YEARS! People, Hitomi whisper about you... you're not NORMAL anymore."  
  
"What's normal? Are reading tarot cards normal?" Hitomi asked dryly.  
  
"For you, yes! It is!" Yukari said.  
  
Hitomi smiled softly at her. "Would it make you feel better if I read my future?" she said with a sigh, hoping to placate her friend. Then she swore inwardly, recognizing how she'd been maneuvered into trapping herself.  
  
Yukari looked at her friend, then reached over and spun Hitomi around, holding onto her shoulders. Staring up into the sprinter's eyes, she spoke with utter seriousness, "Yes. I want you to be the Hitomi I used to know- the one who was curious about her future, the one who knew how to laugh."  
  
Another hour past, and the two girls found themselves in. Time was irrelevant, Hitomi had learned; the weird passages of Gaea had taught her that it was merely a matter of perception. A second was not important, nor was the past or future. All that mattered was the now, and Hitomi smiled as she sat down in front of her friend. "Can't we just go get a hamburger?" she said.  
  
"No!" Yukari said, adamant. "I want to see your fortune!"  
  
Hitomi got up to retrieve her cards, and smiled softly at Yukari. Carefully she unwrapped the cards that she had wrapped up in a silk bag years ago and stored in her vanity. She hadn't seen them in ages, but they were like old friends. "I'm only going to do a three card spread and keep to the Major Arcana," she said as she separated her deck. That would be swift, and keep her from knowing too much. She used to favor a more complex spread, but the more cards brought into play would define the future further. And knowing too much was as dangerous as knowing too little, perhaps even more so.  
  
Messing with the Tarot was dangerous. She had learned that, yet here she was again.  
  
She shuffled the deck slowly, her slender fingers moving over and over, breathing slowly as she cleared her mind. Then suddenly she hesitated as the cards almost spoke to her.   
  
There.  
  
She was half tempted to keep shuffling, but she had learned the danger of forcing a future. She had begun; now she must finish. She removed the top card.  
  
"The past: The Lovers reversed," she whispered.  
  
Yukari blinked. "That's a weird card for you to have, isn't it?" she asked. "I mean, I don't know much about tarot, but...."  
  
Hitomi shook her head. "No, it's appropriate."   
  
"Well?"  
  
"The lovers stand for Relationship, sexuality, personal beliefs, and values. Since it's reversed, that means that the energy was unfulfilled or not fully recognized," Hitomi said with a bitter smile.   
  
Yukari winced. She remembered Hitomi's crush on Amano all too well, and assumed that was what her friend was referring to.  
  
Hitomi didn't bother to enlighten her.   
  
Then she flipped the next card. "The present: The Hermit." At Yukari's inquiring eyebrow she explained. "The hermit means introspection, solitude, guidance and searching. It's particularly appropriate at this point in my life, since I'm pondering choices and questioning what I've been taught since birth." She was rather surprised that it was in the position of the present, rather then the future; she saw herself as being solitary for the rest of her life.   
  
"Final card, the future," she whispered, and she was shaking. She never should have let Yukari talk her into this. She was raking over old wounds, reopening scabs that she thought had healed.  
  
Her eyes widened in horror. The Tower or Death or the Hanged Man she would have accepted, but not this. Normally it was a pleasant card, one full of positive energy, but for her.... it was not for her. Destiny... hadn't she had enough of that already? Turning point... she'd experienced too many. Movement... was something she didn't want. Personal vision... was horrifying. No one should know too much about themselves or their world.  
  
"The Wheel of Fortune...."  
  
  
  
END WHEEL OF FORTUNE  
UP NEXT: JUDGMENT 


	2. Judgement

Quicksilver's Quill Offers  
  
Mystic Eyes  
  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
  
standard disclaimers- Escaflowne is not mine.  
  
AN: Special Thanks to Juli, my new and WONDERFUL beta!  
  
Background: The way the Tarot was abused in Escaflowne has always really annoyed me, and what the fandom (i.e. inexperienced fanfic writers who don't research what they don't know) has done to it only made it worse. My goal with this piece is to do a continuation that explores some aspects of the series, and do an accurate representation of the Tarot. For this, we're going to assume that Hitomi uses an Ukiyou Tarot deck. My understanding of the tarot is less then perfect, but... I'm trying. I don't claim to be an expert, but I do lay the occasional spread out. I'm going to attempt to use the entire major arcana, but considering there's so many cards… I'm also going to be a chicken and avoid dealing with the minor arcana if I can avoid it! Main resource is located at: http://www.learntarot.com/  
  
***************************  
  
PART ONE:  
  
JUDGEMENT  
  
KEYWORDS: Judgment, Rebirth,  
  
Inner Calling. Absolution  
  
***************************  
  
"On Card 20, we see people rising up at the call of an angel. It is Judgment Day, when the faithful are brought to heaven, but what about those who are not saved? Have they been judged and found wanting? For their sins, will they be denied the presence of God? It is this aspect of judgment that is unsettling. How can judgment be reconciled with forgiveness?  
  
"In fact, judgment comes in two forms. The hurtful kind says, "What you did is wrong, and you are bad and worthless for having done it." This type of judgment separates and leaves no room for redemption. It is possible to judge without condemning. We assess the matter, weigh all sides and try to discern the truth. We recognize the need to choose and hope for the courage to do so wisely - but without blame  
  
.  
  
"In readings, Card 20 can be a reminder that judgments are necessary; sometimes you must decide. At such moments, it is best to consider the matter carefully and then commit yourself without censure. If you are being judged yourself, learn from the process. Take what is of value, correct what needs correcting, but never lose sight of your worth.  
  
"Card 20 also stands for the feelings that come with salvation. When the angel calls, you are reborn - cleansed of all guilts and burdens. The past and its mistakes are behind you, and you are ready to begin anew. You may even feel a calling - a personal conviction of what you are meant to do. If you are in a low period, in need of hope and absolution, Judgement can show you that renewal is at hand. "  
  
***************************  
  
"Kanzaki-san! Kanzaki-san!"  
  
Hitomi raised her head from where she was rummaging in her sports bag, smiling slightly at the older girl who was running towards her. "Yes, McClellan-san?" she asked politely.  
  
Bridget McClellan bent over and clutched her knees for support as she attempted to catch her breath. "I just... wanted to say... that it's a pleasure racing against you."  
  
Hitomi nodded graciously. "It was a fun match."  
  
The other girl heaved a sigh, and then wagged a finger in a surprised Hitomi's face. "You're too kind. None of us came anywhere close to catching you, not even me. Why, before you arrived, I was the star! Now I'm lucky if I can get a second place time that isn't too embarrassingly far behind yours."  
  
"Doesn't it bother you? This unknown, taking your place?" Hitomi asked, feeling the slight stirrings of curiosity. Usually it was too much effort to become curious about others around her, but something about Bridget appealed to her.  
  
Bridget smiled, showing off a cute pair of dimples. "Kanzaki-san... I might as well be jealous of the rain for being wet. Running is something you ARE, rather then something you do. It's like... walking the hallowed grounds where a King has dwelt- you're honored to be there, in a place where history was made. You're making history, now. In fifty years, KO will be known as the school Kanzaki Hitomi-sama raced for."  
  
A blush stained Hitomi's cheeks, and she tilted her head forward in an attempt to hide it. "Please don't speak like that," she said quietly. "I'm not running for history; I'm running for myself."  
  
The redhead nodded in an agreeable fashion. "That's what makes you special. Have you thought about trying out for the national team?"  
  
Hitomi's expression grew troubled. "Everyone tells me I really should, but I'm not sure I want to."  
  
"Not want to?" Bridget looked puzzled.  
  
"I think I just want to be an ordinary student, at least for a while. That will when I start running international meets."  
  
"What if... something happens? You could break something badly." The thought was a serious one; if a runner broke something, the recuperation time could destroy a career, even if the injury didn't.  
  
Hitomi nodded. "I've taken that into consideration, of course, but I'm sure things will be fine. I have faith."  
  
"I wish I did! I pulled a tendon once and was on crutches for a week- for a while I despaired of ever running again!" The girl's impish smile pulled Hitomi in unwillingly, like a moth to a flame. "I had something I wanted to ask you."  
  
"Can it wait until after we hit the showers?"  
  
"How about during?"  
  
Hitomi agreed readily enough. Slowly she zipped her running bag and slung it across her left shoulder, then walked with the other girl to the showers. She had yet to find a personal manager as devoted as Yukari had been, and wasn't sure if she regretted that or not. It was easier to seek the solitude she desired, but Yukari had been her only friend who had hung on... after. The others had found her detachment rather frightening. Still, without a manager, she was stuck carrying her stuff around herself.  
  
The girl's locker room was much the same as any she had ever been in. The floors were perpetually damp, and the girls all wore flip-flops in the shower to avoid touching the slimy-feeling floors. The walls were a dismal off-white, and the lighting was, at best, chancy. The room had lost power twice so far while she had been in there, and she'd been stuck standing naked, waiting for someone to restore the lights since she couldn't find her clothes. The only thing the place had going for it was the endless supply of hot water, something she cherished.  
  
It was late in the day, so the women's track team had the place pretty much to them selves. The sound of hissing water from the communal stalls let her know that someone was in there, and she heard the quiet murmur of voices from around the room in various places. She hurried to her locker to get her bath gear out and shoved her bag in it. She stripped quickly, her finely toned muscles still gleaming with sweat. Yanking her braid apart with impatient fingers, she stepped into a short terrycloth robe and her bathing sandals. Her carefully packed bath bucket and towel in hand, she went into the shower area.  
  
Communal showers were something that bothered a lot of people, but athletes learned to get used to it, or spent a LOT of time cowering in corners with bright blushes of embarrassment. Hitomi had lost her body modesty enough so that shedding her robe in the small room before the shower was no trial. Her body was a finely honed tool, and if she had bothered to think about it, she might have been proud of how fit she looked.  
  
All ten of the showerheads were going full blast, with five giggling girls standing underneath them. One was gossiping about her current boyfriend, while the others listened, occasionally adding their own anecdotes or just commiserating on how incredibly dense males could be. In the corner another girl was standing by herself, holding a book covered with a Ziploc baggy, apparently doing some schoolwork. Balancing athletics and classes could be hard, and Hitomi knew that she was lucky that studies came easily. Some of her teammates were struggling.  
  
Normally Hitomi would go over to one of the showers, crank it up as hot as she could possibly stand it, and lose herself in the throbbing rhythm of the spray. Sometimes it felt like hot needles were trying to pierce her flesh, but nothing relaxed her more. Today, though, she had promise to talk to Bridget so she glanced around, looking for the sophomore. She wasn't there yet, so Hitomi snagged two of the showerheads and adjusted them to a more reasonable setting.  
  
"Ah, Hitomi! Do you mind if I call you that? You can call me Bridget if you like." The older girl dashed in, carrying a neon green bath bucket of her own. As she jabbered cheerfully, she pulled out a poof and poured bath gel all over it.  
  
"Go ahead," Hitomi agreed, wary eyes following the older girl. Bridget was pretty, with deep red hair cut at a jaunty angle at her chin, and huge eyes that were a true sapphire blue. Her bangs framed a small face, and her body was trim. Hitomi was taller than the average Japanese woman, at five-four, but Bridget was almost Amazonian. She stood just below six feet, her European heritage clear on sight.  
  
Bridget laughed. "You're so cool, you know that? I don't think I've ever seen you react to anything with extreme emotion."  
  
Hitomi shrugged, then bent over to get her shampoo. She hated being so much shorter then most of the other runners. Runners weren't typically short. "I've seen things that could turn your hair white," Hitomi said shortly, the bite in her tone not encouraging further questions. "After that, you learn not to sweat the small things." She poured a generous pool of shampoo into her hand and lathered her hair, digging deeply into her scalp with her nails.  
  
Bridget wasn't about to be deterred. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about," she said as she started to wash her own hair. "I was curious as about why I've never seen you at any of the team parties- I know Akari-chan is having one tonight, and we'd love to have you there."  
  
Hitomi blinked in surprise. No one ever invited her to go anywhere anymore, not after she had rejected the first dozen invites. She didn't want them to, so it wasn't a problem, but the unexpected invitation had her fumbling for a rejection. She had school; she had homework-  
  
And then she felt the tug.  
  
It was hard to describe exactly, but she knew the feeling. It was a pull to agree, much the way she had felt on Gaea... much like she had felt when reading the tarot cards. As if something was telling her that this was destiny, that this was something she must do. Still, she'd had enough of destiny. It only brought pain and suffering. "I'll think about it," she said, hurriedly rinsing out the soap. She'd take a complete shower later, but right now she just wanted to get away from Bridget.  
  
"Really? I'll meet you at your dorm room at nine!" Bridget bubbled enthusiastically.  
  
"I didn't-" she began to protest, but was cut off as Bridget shook her head to rid her hair of excess water and darted for the door. Hitomi watched her go, feeling like she had just been hit by a tractor-trailer.  
  
***************************  
  
By nine, Hitomi had talked herself out of going. Even though it was a Friday and the entire dorm seemed to be empty, she was studiously reading Hamlet for her English class. It was hard for her to make sense of the play- her English was decent, but the old English tried all her skills. The copy she had bought from the bookstore was well marked, with notes up and down the margins and highlighting throughout.  
  
She was well ahead of the class, but she new time was precious. Next week she had a meet that she would have to train for, and there was always the possibility that something might come up that she would have to pay attention to.  
  
She frowned thoughtfully at the scene where Laertes and Polonius were taking their leave of each other, giggling slightly at Polonius' advice. Parents didn't change much, no matter how many centuries apart they were.  
  
The sudden staccato raps on the door made her jump out of her skin. She rose to her feet, determined to get rid of Bridget with all possible haste. She really didn't want to go, despite the tug she felt… or maybe because of it.  
  
"Hey, Hitomi!" the other girl said cheerily. She was dressed in a flowered tube top with lavender slacks, chunky shoes, and plenty of glittery body paint, and her vibrant red hair was streaked with multiple shades of purple. "Are you ready- ACK! You can't mean to wear that!"  
  
Hitomi looked down at her shorts and T-shirt (which was emblazoned with the slogan of a meet she had attended two years ago) and sighed. "Bridget- I- "  
  
The girl shook her head insistently, her red hair brushing against her high cheekbones. "I knew you'd back out if I didn't come to get you! Well, let's look in your closet and get you ready!"  
  
"But- "  
  
Bridget wagged a finger in her face. "This anti-social nature of yours has got to go. It's one thing to be aloof, it's another entirely to be a hermit!"  
  
The present: The Hermit….  
  
The memory of the tarot reading Yukari had talked her into performing surfaced unwillingly. "I have homework," she said lamely.  
  
"And an entire weekend to do it! I told Akari-chan that you'd be coming, and she was really excited! The other girls really want to get to know you. They're a nice bunch, so there's no reason to be shy! So come on!" Bridget gave her a face that a puppy dog would have been proud of.  
  
Hitomi sighed. Bridget had clearly made up her mind, and like Yukari, there was no changing it. "Fine. But I'm not going to stay long."  
  
"At least till one," Bridget wheedled.  
  
"Eleven."  
  
"Midnight it is." The girl went over to the college provided wardrobe and flung both its doors wide open and poked her head in. Hitomi knew she should be offended that a virtual stranger was rummaging through her stuff, but all she felt was a slight weariness and a trace of amusement. Bridget was a force of nature. "You have some really pretty things… maybe a green shirt to bring out your eyes? Or that short blue skirt to draw attention to your legs? Or how about-" she halted abruptly, her attention riveted to something she had just seen.  
  
Hitomi knew what the other girl was looking at. "That dress?"  
  
Bridget's eyes widened as she pulled out a dress. It was cut rather oddly, with a very short front and a back that would fall almost to her knees, with a flare from the hips. The color was rather indescribable, shading from deep blue to green to turquoise, then back again. The scooped-neck was modest, but the material would cling to each of her curves, making it clear that Hitomi was very female, and had a splendidly toned body. "It's gorgeous!"  
  
"My mother gave it to me. It's not something I'd buy for myself- it's too impractical."  
  
"You have to wear it!"  
  
Hitomi sighed and complied, stripping out of her study outfit. The dress slid over her skin like water, and she was surprised at how feminine it made her feel.  
  
"Now for the make up!" Bridget said gleefully.  
  
"I don't wear it."  
  
Bridget frowned and dug in her purse to produce an astounding traveling pharmacy. "You don't need it, much," she admitted grudgingly. "But you know, glitter is required!" Hitomi squeaked as Bridget advanced on her, waving a tube of silver glitter. Bridget was wearing a lot, and Hitomi shuddered to think what was going to happen to her.  
  
Five minutes passed before Bridget let her look in a compact mirror. To Hitomi's astonishment, Bridget had kept it simple, only adding touches of glitter to her eyelids, cheeks, and a few blue streaks in her hair. She rather liked the effect. "I bet you thought I'd overdo it."  
  
"The thought did occur to me," she answered dryly.  
  
Bridget laughed and tugged Hitomi to her feet. "With that dress? Trust me, no matter what I do, no one is gonna be looking at your face!"  
  
"I'll change, then," Hitomi volunteered.  
  
"No!" Bridget dragged her over to the full-length mirror Hitomi's father had attached to the back of her door when she moved in. "You look awesome, babe!"  
  
Hitomi was surprised and amazed by the woman staring back at her. She was sexy, looking like she had just stepped out of a teen magazine. She hadn't realized she could look like that… she wished Van could see her, and she could bask in the admiration his eyes would reflect.  
  
"I do good work," Bridget preened. "Come on, we got a party to get to!"  
  
Hitomi sighed and grabbed some money for the cover and her ID card, putting them into the card-carrier she wore on a cord around her neck. She would have liked to take a purse, but she knew that it would only get in the way. Chances were that she'd be expected to dance, and Bridget seemed to have a gift for railroading her into things.  
  
It was barely an hour past sunset, and she fancied that she could still feel some lingering warmth in the air. The air had a vitality that it only seemed to carry on weekends, and she felt her spirit lifting, however unwillingly unwillingly. Yukari and Bridget were right- she needed to try to have a normal life. Van wouldn't be coming for her, and he wouldn't want her to waste her life pining for him. She made a firm resolution to at least try to enjoy herself tonight. There was no point in being miserable.  
  
Bridget pulled her to a cherry red PT Cruiser, and Hitomi giggled. Leave it to Bridget to drive something flashy. Bridget flicked the unlock button on her key chain, and Hitomi took the passenger's seat while Bridget slid behind the wheel. "Buckle up, babe," Bridget warned.  
  
Hitomi had barely managed to fumble her seatbelt closed when Bridget turned the ignition, starting the car, and a sound system that Hitomi thought would deafen her. Bridget's foot hit the gas heavily and she peeled out of the parking lot, forcing a gasp out of her passenger.  
  
"I warned you! It's not just running that I do fast!"  
  
After seeing Bridget run one red light, Hitomi shut her eyes and silently offered up every prayer she could think of. She should have known Bridget would be a crazy driver… In ten minutes, they pulled up in front of a house, after a drive that should have taken fifteen. Hitomi felt distinctly off-color, and wondered if she looked as green as she felt.  
  
Bridget, though, bounced out of the car obliviously, hit the auto lock, and hooked her arm through Hitomi's, pulling her along. "Akari-chan throws the best parties- her parents bought her a house to live in while she goes to college. Every month or so she throws a bash- with just a few friends, usually the track team and their dates."  
  
From the sound coming from the house, Akari had a lot of friends. Almost every room in the house was lit up, or had the distinct look of black lights or strobes coming from within, pulsing in time with the sound system that was audible from the street. The music had a great beat, and she could see people dancing, even on the lawn.  
  
"What's the cover?" she asked. She didn't intend to drink, but they would still charge her. They always did.  
  
Bridget laughed. "You're a member of the track team! No cover- Akari- chan sometimes charges the gatecrashers, but she's nice to the team. We're family!"  
  
Hitomi bit her lip to keep from biting out anything sarcastic.  
  
People immediately began to flock around them. Most greeted Bridget familiarly, and a few offered tentative hellos to Hitomi as well. A few guys asked her to dance or get her a drink, but she shook her head, smiling slightly to negate any sting her refusal would give. "I have to say hello to the hostess," she said.  
  
"I should, too," Bridget said. "Is she in the game room, Ken?"  
  
A dark-haired boy with eyes to drown in nodded. "She took off there with Shinji," he said. "I think they're back on again."  
  
The red-haired gaijin laughed. "They managed to stay broken up for all of three days! A record!"  
  
"Ain't it?"  
  
She smiled and leaned towards Ken, planting a lingering kiss on his lips. "We can talk later, right? After I get Hitomi comfortable with the gang?" she asked.  
  
He placed his hands on hers waist to draw her close and gave her a passionate kiss as an answer. "I'm always up for you, Bri."  
  
She laughed, stepped away from him after giving a flirtatious wink and indicated that Hitomi should follow her with a jerk of her head. "Is he your boyfriend?" Hitomi asked.  
  
Bridget grinned at her, flashing white teeth. "One of a few. He has his uses. I'm not serious, though." Hitomi blushed as she thought of what Bridget probably meant.  
  
The music changed as they passed a refreshment table. Bridget grabbed a wine cooler. "Want one?" she asked.  
  
"I don't drink."  
  
"Ahhhh… you subscribe to the whole "body is a shrine" school of running?" Hitomi didn't answer, letting Bridget draw her own conclusions. She didn't like alcohol. "In Europe, I like beer, but most of what I can get here is either American-made, which is simply horrid. There's also some sake, but I never acquired a taste for the stuff. So I stick to wine coolers," Bridget continued, ignoring her companion's silence.  
  
They went through a few more hallways, and up a flight of stairs before Bridget turned right abruptly. "The game room," she announced. "You play pool?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, one of the guys will teach you- any excuse to lean over a girl wearing a short skirt! If I were you, I'd let Mikado. He's really sweet, even if he does swing both ways- never can make up his mind," Bridget blithely babbled on, reminding Hitomi of a brook.  
  
The two girls entered, and Hitomi's senses were bombarded by music that was even louder then that playing downstairs, if that was possible. It took a second for her to adjust enough to make out the sight of four guys playing pool, a few at a foosball table, and a couple on a couch, ardently kissing each other. Hitomi became grateful for the dim lighting, because she knew she'd never live down the blush that made her feel dizzy.  
  
"Oi, Akari-chan!" Bridget called, plowing right in where angels might fear to tread. "I brought Hitomi with me!"  
  
The couple pulled apart, and Hitomi recognized Akari, one of the team's better runners. She sat in the lap of a handsome young man that Hitomi shared her Shakespearean English class with. Akari giggled, sounding sloshed to the gills, as she straightened her shirt. "Heya, Kanzaki-sama! Decide to mingle with the peons finally?" she asked, coming to her feet wobbly.  
  
Hitomi's stomach dropped. This wasn't going to be pretty. Akari was apparently a mean drunk. "Finally decide we're good enough?"  
  
"I've been busy with school. I have a scholarship to keep," she said.  
  
"Trying to graduate first in class? Not only are you content to totally destroy any chance the rest of us have to make ourselves a name in track, but you have to show us up in the classroom as well? Can't be anything less then perfect?"  
  
Bridget frowned as Hitomi's eyes went ice cold. "Akari-chan! What's wrong with you! You wanted Hitomi to come!" Bridget protested.  
  
Akari snorted. "Well, I did. But I don't want her to be looking down on me! Just 'cause I can't pass Trig without trying!"  
  
Bridget winced. "Are you still hung up about that? It was only one test, Akari-chan! And you have no right to get mad at Hitomi- she studies constantly! And she hasn't even said anything condescending to you!"  
  
"She never says anything to us! Putting on airs, acting like a princess… we're so lucky she graced us with her presence!"  
  
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Wakahara-san," she said in a polite voice, though she wasn't. What did she care? "It was a mistake for me to come here." She nodded slightly, and turned to leave.  
  
Bridget caught up with her in the hallway. "I'm so sorry! I forgot what she got like when she was drunk- she didn't mean it!"  
  
"Yes, she did," Hitomi answered. "I'm going to go home- you stay here and have fun, okay? I appreciate you trying to get me involved, but I'm not a very social person."  
  
"Well, at least stay until you meet my cousin!" Bridget said, her voice pleading. "He's new to campus, so I don't think you've met. And he's a really nice guy- I think you'll have more in common with him then most people."  
  
"Fine. After that, though, I'm leaving." She was annoyed that she'd let herself be talked into coming in the first place, and she would be damned if she'd let anyone match make for her. She'd already given her heart away irrevocable.  
  
"You really have to give things a chance. I think you'll like him… he's almost as unsociable as you! I had to get him to promise to show up here on our grandfather's grave."  
  
Hitomi obediently followed Bridget, weaving through the gyrating crowd. One man goosed her, and she turned around, ready to throw him into the wall. The drunk caught a glimpse of the anger in her eyes, and wisely retreated. "Bridget…" she said warningly.  
  
"He's in the library!" Bridget said. "He always retreats to the quietest place!" Hitomi didn't blame him. The blasting music, the strobe lights, and drunken students were all giving her a headache.  
  
Finally Bridget dragged her into a dimly lit room located in the corner of the building, shutting the heavy oak door behind her. "You in here, cous?" she called.  
  
"Against my better judgment," a dry mail voice answered, one that sent shivers dancing up her spine. Eerily familiar, its timbre and tone reminded her of how Van had spoken whenever Merle was teasing him. "I'll meet your friend, then I'm out of here." Hitomi couldn't make out anything except for a slender male silhouette.  
  
Bridget laughed. "You're impossible!" She motioned Hitomi closer. "Hitomi, this is Donovan Masanori, who is my cousin when he isn't being too impossible. Van, I'd like you to meet the fastest girl on campus, Kanzaki Hitomi."  
  
Hitomi's breath caught as the young man stepped out of the shadows. Even though the features were several years older, they were unmistakable those of Van Fanel.  
  
"Van?" she whispered.  
  
END JUDGMENT  
  
UP NEXT:  
  
STAR  
  
Feedback is very much appreciated! 


	3. The Emperor

Aishuu Offers  
  
Mystic Eyes  
  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
  
standard disclaimers  
  
Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice  
  
Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An On-Line Course" for personal, non- commercial use as long as the copyright message (Copyright (c) 1995-2002 by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in commercial documents or products, or used for promotional purposes.  
  
AN: For those who have been encouraging this, much to my surprise. Ciel Envoye, Ely... thank you. Kudos to my ever-patient beta Juli!  
  
***************************  
  
PART TWO: THE EMPEROR  
  
Keywords:  
  
Fathering, Structure  
  
Authority, Regulation  
  
***************************  
  
"The figure of the Emperor says much about the essential qualities of this card. We see a stern, commanding figure seated on a stone-slab throne. His back is straight, and his eyes meet ours directly. He is confident of his complete authority to rule.  
  
"The Emperor represents structure, order and regulation - forces to balance the free-flowing, lavish abundance of the Empress. He advocates a four- square world where trains are on time, games are played by rules, and commanding officers are respected. In chaotic situations, the Emperor can indicate the need for organization. Loose ends should be tied up, and wayward elements, harnessed. In situations that are already over- controlled, he suggests the confining effect of those constraints.  
  
"The Emperor can represent an encounter with authority or the assumption of power and control. As the regulator, he is often associated with legal matters, disciplinary actions, and officialdom in all its forms. He can also stand for an individual father or archetypal Father in his role as guide, protector and provider. "  
  
***************************  
  
"You okay?" Bridget's voice was worried, yet barely penetrated Hitomi's shocked conscious.  
  
Hitomi's eyes were fastened on Donovan's face, mesmerized by the features she had become reconciled to never seeing again. The deep brown eyes, tanned skinned, black inky hair that her fingers itched to run through.... They were the same. He was taller then she remembered, but it was unmistakably her Van. "I'm fine," she whispered, unable to break her stare. He wasn't wearing red; instead, he wore a navy blue button-up shirt and khakis, with an expensive silver watch on his wrist, matching the silver necklace, which vanished into his shirt.  
  
Donovan, for his part, looked slightly perplexed for a second before holding out a hand for her to shake, rather then offering her a slight bow. She took it with awkwardness, unused to the courtesy, surprised again when a jolt of electricity ran up her arm, seeming to embrace her entirely. "I've heard about you, Kanzaki-san," he said, his voice pleasant.  
  
She wanted to throw herself in his arms and kiss him senseless; she wanted to grab him and demand how this was possible, what he was doing on her world. She did neither- her instincts said that moving too quickly would be a mistake, and she had learned to trust them. They had kept her alive in the past. "Really?" she asked, hoping she didn't sound as breathless as she felt.  
  
"Bridget speaks highly of your running skills- I've been meaning to go to a race, but I haven't had time lately- I was taking two extra eight week courses to help my transition to Japan- thankfully they're finished now." He moved over to one of the couches and sank down it. His movements were precise and controlled, like a martial artist aware of his skill.  
  
Hitomi followed and sat next to him, careful not to sit too close. "You're not Japanese?" she asked curiously. He didn't look it, and his shaking her hand hadn't been, but his last name certainly was.  
  
"Half. My mother is American by way of Ireland," he answered. He was studying her features, and his expression was slightly puzzled, as though he had seen her before and was trying to place her.  
  
"My aunt," Bridget put in. "Van's father is Japanese, though... that's why he speaks so well, without my annoying accent!"  
  
"I can speak for myself, Bri," he said dryly. "And you hardly have any accent at all, so stop fishing for compliments."  
  
Bridget was undeterred by his censure. "Well, I knew you two would need some help!" she declared. "If I left you to carry on the conversation yourselves, you'd just sit here..."  
  
Hitomi decided to ignore Bridget's teasing. "Van is an unusual nickname to get from Donovan," she said slowly. "Shouldn't I call you Don?" she asked, testing him. This was weird; how could he be her Van if he didn't recognize her? But...he looked, moved, and sounded like him... and all of her instincts were screaming at her that this, despite all odds, was indeed the boy she had grown to love.  
  
He shook his head. "I've always been 'Van.' It suits me better."  
  
"I think Donovan suits him best," Bridget said, earning herself an annoyed glare. "What?!" She exclaimed, playing innocent and fluttering her long red lashes at her cousin. "Look it up in a baby names dictionary sometime, Hitomi," she said.  
  
She raised an eyebrow curiously. "Hmm?" she asked. She was still trying to figure out how this was happening. For the past few years her life had been normal enough, but now things had just taken another definite turn for the weird. She wasn't sure if she was grateful for the chance to have Van back, or if she was more tempted to run away from all of it.  
  
She had had an adventure once. That had been enough.  
  
Van blushed slightly, casting a dark look at his cousin. "One of the meanings is "dark warrior".  
  
A smile found life on Hitomi's lips. The name was so appropriate... if it was her Van. It had to be. There was no such thing as coincidence. She, better than anyone, knew that. "She's right. It suits you very well." She gave him a sunny smile, one filled with unfeigned warmth. Bridget looked at her with genuine surprise, then her blue eyes widened and a sparkle came into them.  
  
Van blushed. "Thanks, I think. I'll take it as a compliment."  
  
"It was a statement of fact," Hitomi said levelly, aware that Bridget was about to play matchmaker.  
  
His blush became even more pronounced. "Thank you," he said, nodding his head to her politely.  
  
Bridget grinned, and Hitomi felt her stomach drop to her shoes. She recognized the gleam in the other girl's eyes as a forewarning of trouble. "Van, would you do me a favor and drive Hitomi back to her dorm? Since you're both leaving..." she trailed off suggestively.  
  
"Sure. Not a problem."  
  
Now Bridget turned her wistful attention on Hitomi. "I hope you don't mind, Hitomi, but I really want to stay, and since you're having such a lousy time and Van was leaving anyway..."  
  
"That's fine. I'll see you on Monday, at practice."  
  
Van and Hitomi got to their feet as Bridget bounced out of the room at lightning speed after giving them a cheerful wave and a warning not to have too much fun without her, which had earned her a playful clout upside the head from her cousin.  
  
Van put his hand on her shoulder, a light touch that made her senses tingle. She had forgotten that Americans were more casual about touch, and she felt a blush on her face as Van used his hand to help guide her through the crowds. She had never had a man touch her so casually on first acquaintance, and it made her wonder if she should shake him off or point out his faux pas. She remained silent, though, wondering all the while.  
  
He was so familiar, yet strange at the same time. Who was Donovan Masanori? Why did he look and sound just like Van Fanel? Surely it couldn't be a coincidence... surely life couldn't be so cruel, to tempt her with a look-alike of the man she desired so fervently...  
  
"My car is out in the lot, near the house. Shouldn't be too hard to find." His voice almost startled her.  
  
"That's good," Hitomi said, moving down the stairs and into the main room, which had quieted down. The strobe lights were off now and the lighting was normal, but the music still blared. People had broken off into smaller groups and were holding conversations and drinking. Van's presence seemed to deter the propositions she had been subject to on the way in.  
  
They swung into a smaller room, one where a table had been set up. Akari had ditched her boyfriend, and was sitting with one of the other track team members, a girl named Eire Hisae. Hitomi knew Hisae was one of the less-accomplished runners, and had little to do with her. If Hisae was as drunk as Akari was, she would prefer nothing to do with either of them. Still, their path would take them directly by them. A confrontation would be inevitable, since Akari was most likely still angry from the earlier scene.  
  
Hitomi passed by Akari and Hisae as they giggled over a deck of Tarot cards, and felt her hackles rise. "You're not reading them right," she said firmly. Akari had already yelled at her once; there was no reason not to antagonize her now. Hitomi knew how to hold a grudge. Besides, it drove her nuts to see the Tarot abused. People didn't understand that it wasn't something to be toyed with.  
  
"I assume you can read them better?" Akari challenged.  
  
"Yes," Hitomi said honestly. She didn't lie. Lies were for those who needed them, and she didn't. She met Akari's eyes evenly.  
  
"Fine! Do a reading, and impress!" Hisae said, snatching the deck away from her smashed friend and throwing it at Hitomi.  
  
It was Van, amazingly, who caught the cards before they had a chance to scatter across the room. He lunged forward and, in an amazing display of dexterity, gathered the cards mid-air into a neat pile. "You should treat things more carefully," he chided Hisae. "To some people, Tarot cards are part of their religion. It's disrespectful." He turned and handed them to Hitomi, bowing gallantly. "Tell me my fortune," he said.  
  
She looked dubiously around the crowded room. "Are you sure you want me to? Readings are usually private."  
  
Van shrugged. "Go ahead. I'm not Wiccan."  
  
Van was still a contradiction, respectful one second, and disinterested the next.  
  
He was her Van- only her Van would act so.  
  
"Fine." She gave him a smile and pressed the cards against her chest, trying to hide how her hands were shaking. She hadn't done a reading for anyone else since... since Gaea. The one reading she had done since then had been for herself, and only at Yukari's insistence. The memory of that reading still unnerved her  
  
Looking at Van's face, she wondered if he was part of the Wheel of Fortune the Cards had warned her about...  
  
The cards were new and store-bought, unfamiliar to her. Hitomi preferred an Ukiyou deck, a newer deck that her grandmother had given her when she had been born. She sank to the floor, kneeling at the long side of a coffee table, her short skirt spread in a perfect circle around her. Her grace, unconscious though it was, was enough to make Akari raise her eyebrow, and Hisae stopped giggling drunkenly. There was a feeling of imminent in the air, like the feeling on the day before a major holiday.  
  
Donovan took the seat across from her.  
  
"Usually I'd use the Celtic Cross spread, but due to our audience, it's just going to be a three-card spread. I doubt you want to share too much of yourself with the current company."  
  
He shrugged. "Do the full spread. I'm curious, oh, lady of mysteries."  
  
She shook her head. "I don't want to. This isn't my deck- I have little affinity for it, and the cards may not like me."  
  
Many people may have laughed at her then, called her a mystic or superstitious or a freak, but Van didn't. He took her seriously, looking into her green eyes and seeing the hesitation there. "Okay," he agreed. "Tell me my future, Kanzaki-san."  
  
It was odd to hear him called her so formally, odd and wrong. She had to lower her gaze to the deck to hide her sorrow, and even then wasn't sure if she succeeded. Still, she distracted herself by separating the Major and Minor Arcana from each other. She did it easily, without flipping the cards over to see what they were. It was a simple thing for a true seer, as she was, but to the others, it was magical.  
  
"What are you doing?" Hisae demanded, leaning over.  
  
"I'm separating the cards. I don't want to mess around with the Minor Arcana..."  
  
"How can you do that like that? They're upside down!" Hisae said belligerently.  
  
She remained impassive and finished her task before grabbing the smaller deck. Flipping it over, she fanned it out, displaying the perfectly arranged Major Arcana, from the Fool all the way up to the World, the cards in order. Her actions spoke louder than any retort she could have made. "How did you do that?" Akari demanded.  
  
Hitomi just handed the deck over to Van and pretended they were the only two in the room. "Shuffle the deck, and shuffle it well. Shut your eyes, and allow your thoughts and dreams to flow into the cards."  
  
He did, the thick paper of the cards seeming to present him no problem as he moved them smoothly. Like most people, he handled them seriously, not bothering with any flashy tricks or elaborate shuffling, though he handled them like he was familiar with cards. Tarot seemed like a somber thing to most people, and most people were cautious around them, for which Hitomi was grateful. They were part of some religions, and while she didn't follow them, she respected their faith.  
  
"When do I stop?" he asked.  
  
"You'll know."  
  
He looked slightly cynical, but shuffled for another moment before his fingers twitched and he handed the deck back. "Done," he pronounced as the tips of their fingers brushed. This time there was no feeling of electricity, but rather the comforting one of familiarity.  
  
Her face remained serene as she spread the three upper cards out in front of her, ignoring the attention she had attracted from everyone in the room. Hisae and Akari were watching carefully, but it was Van's eyes that came closest to distracting her. "The first card represents your past, and the influences upon it. Only by knowing our pasts can we know where our futures lie," she said. She was being a touch dramatic, but Hisae had angered her, and she knew a little showmanship wouldn't hurt. Part of reading Tarot was in the presentation.  
  
She flipped over the card, her eyes widening as the picture of a rigid man upon a stone throne, wearing a crown upon his head. This was a traditional Waite Tarot deck, not like her Ukiyoe deck, which was much more Asian in influence. Still, the message was unmistakable, and she thought it appropriate. "Your Past: The Emperor. The Emperor is a very masculine card, one of the two used to represent the masculine principle in the deck. I could go on about him for quite a while, but the basics are that he is the card for rule and structure, and some say, the paternal figure of the deck. A powerful card: guide, protector, and provider."  
  
She smiled as he nodded, and the other girls tittered a little before she passed her cool green eyes over them, the effect like throwing ice water in their faces. "The second card represents your present, and the forces that prevail upon you now. We all must be aware of our surroundings and ourselves, for lack of knowledge is a dangerous thing." She flipped it over, and air hissed through her teeth as she tried to keep from gasping. An unwelcome card, one that tended to make people uncomfortable. Instead of a figure, a dark building stood, being hit by lightning, aflame and falling down; a grim card indeed. "The Tower. Sudden upheaval, and change. Reversals in fortune... perhaps even disaster. Often times this card is unwelcome, but by knowing of this, one can prepare, and perhaps even embrace the change when it comes upon us." She was pleased that her voice didn't shake, and that she her hands moved to the third card without betraying the tremor she felt within.  
  
Was she the Tower to him? Would she once again be the harbinger of trouble in his life?  
  
Van said nothing, but the others watched her as if she was some kind of demon they weren't sure whether to placate or banish. "The third and final card represents the future, and what may happen if events continue as they have. The future is malleable, though, and we control our own destinies- nothing is set until we set it," she said, remembering the time she had altered Millerna's future. She flipped it, and was relieved to see the woman standing in the center of leaves of green. "The World. Completion... wholeness. The ability to reach your heart's desire. It's a positive card, with lots of positive energy... it's especially pleasing to see after the trauma the Tower may bring. Happiness..." she whispered, touching it almost longingly. Then she gathered the cards hurriedly, placed them on top of the minor Arcana she had separated them from, and handed them over to Akari. "Please treat them with care, and they will serve you well," she said quietly, rising to her feet.  
  
Van followed her wordlessly, and together they headed for the front door. The crowd parted before them like the Red Sea before Moses, everyone who had seen the reading eagerly telling those who hadn't. As usual, people called out to her, asking to have their own readings done, but she demurred, saying that she only read for people she knew well or was curious about. Van seemed to blush a little at this, but the gentle hand returned to her shoulder to once again support her, sending a thrill through her body.  
  
The night seemed to have grown colder in the few hours she had spent inside. Had she been sure Van was indeed the boy she had known on Gaea, she would have pressed against him for body warmth. Still, there was a lingering doubt...  
  
Goosebumps rose on her shoulders, and she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to conserve heat. The night was still bright, and she could feel Van's presence beside her, silent and strong. It was like she had been brought back through time, to the night when she had crashed into him on the track and been lifted away to Gaea. She glanced up at the sky, almost expecting to see the Earth hanging there.  
  
"Hitomi? My car's right over there," he said, removing his hand from her body to point at a deep blue car with intricate detailing on it.  
  
She blinked once, betraying her shock. She had known Bridget's family had some money (PT Cruisers weren't cheap, especially in Japan), but Van's car simply reeked money. She could see the moonlight reflect off the black leather seats, and when he unlocked the doors and they got in, she noticed that he had every single feature possible, and his sound system was probably better than a DJ's. Still, Van hadn't stuck her as the type to be materialistic. Silently she reevaluated her previous perceptions.  
  
Had she been wrong? Was this all some freak chance? They (whoever they were) said everyone had a twin, somewhere.  
  
Suddenly getting in a car with Donovan seemed like a stupid idea. How much did she know about him, anyway? He was Bridget's cousin, but that was all... and she didn't know Bridget that well, either. Getting in a car with an American, a gaijin... how stupid could she be?  
  
He seemed to sense her unease. "I know, I know.... The car is rather showy, but my father insists on it. He refuses to let his son be seen in less than the best." He turned the key in the ignition, and cranked up the heat. "There's a jacket in the backseat- Bri left it in there. She and I went food shopping earlier today, and like usual, she left her stuff around." He rolled his eyes, but the affection in his exasperated voice was unmistakable.  
  
Hitomi obediently turned around and pulled on the light white jacket that was there. Since it was Bridget's, it was several sizes too large, and still smelled of the flowery perfume she favored. "You spend a lot of time with her?" Hitomi asked quietly, trying to relax.  
  
He smiled, and she felt some of her tension melt away. "We share an apartment. Our parents are great friends, and we're really more like brother and sister than cousins. She's probably my favorite person... even though she is a touch wild. I know she may come across as... uninhibited, but she's not, really. It's more for show. She actually has some really strong morals, and is a very loving person. I missed her very much this last year- it didn't take much convincing on her part to get me to join her over here."  
  
"Oh," Hitomi said. She looked down at the dash and examined the truly impressive array of options. The car was heating up, and she luxuriated in the heat.  
  
"Where do you live?" Van asked, shifted the car into drive and moving onto the street.  
  
"In the dorms, Arthur Hall," she answered. "I'm a scholarship student."  
  
"Bri told me that... you won it through track?"  
  
"Yes. As long as I keep a 2.0 and continue to please my track coaches, I'm set," she informed him. She held out her hands to the heat, letting it permeate her body. The dorms had a lousy heating system, one she despised with a passion.  
  
"I'm coming to the next meet. I'll be sure to watch for you," he said, trying to make conversation.  
  
Hitomi gave him another smile, but was unable to think of anything intelligent to say. Her thoughts were revolving around Gaea, and anything she could ask him would sound out-and-out insane...  
  
Van was as cautious behind the wheel as Bridget was careless. He kept both eyes on the road, and obeyed the speed limit. She felt as though she could lean back into the seat and fall asleep, trusting him to see her home safely, but she didn't want to. She wanted to savor each moment of his presence, for it could be snatched away. Any moment she was expecting someone to shake her awake, and tell her that she was dreaming. She intended to savor this dream, for too often she had nightmares, of Fanelia burning, of Gaea falling apart, and her being so far from home... When she hadn't known that home was with the people she loved, like Van. That wisdom had come too late.  
  
The car purred, responsive to Van's touch, matching his will perfectly as he guided it into the parking lot by her dorm. "We're here," he announced.  
  
"So we are. Thanks for bringing me back," she said. "Apparently I'm not into the party scene."  
  
"I knew you were a clever girl on sight."  
  
She laughed lightly, and reached for the door handle, but paused, unwilling to let this time end. The bells on the college chapel chimed, signaling the dawn of a new day. "It's midnight," Hitomi whispered.  
  
"So it is," he answered. They sat in companionable silence for a second. "I always used to wake up at midnight, even when there wasn't a chime. I eventually started turning my clocks to face away from where I was sleeping, because it creeped me out so much."  
  
"They say that you always are aware of the hour you died, from your last life. Perhaps that's it," she said. She wondered why she was being so macabre. Was she trying to scare him off? Was she afraid that he wasn't her Van? Or was she more afraid of the possibility that he was?  
  
"Do they?" He leaned forward to shut the CD player off. His sudden movement disturbed the necklace he was wearing, and it fell free of his dark shirt.  
  
A gasp caught in Hitomi's throat, and her eyes opened in shock as they fastened on the pendant that swung pack and forth against Van's collar. She didn't need a watch to know it would swing perfectly in time to the second, or know that glitter. It was familiar- she knew it...  
  
How could she not? She had worn that pendant for years, the pendant that she had inherited from her grandmother, that expected to never see again.  
  
Hitomi had given the pendant to Van Fanel in Gaea.  
  
  
  
END PART TWO  
  
  
  
Technical Notes: The Three-card reading is one of the most basic and the first readings most people who are learning tarot... experiment with. The other format Hitomi mentions, the Celtic Cross, is the most popular and uses ten cards to provide a more thorough reading.  
  
I have taken some artistic license in this piece and made Hitomi a Buddhist. Why? Well, that helps me later... And yes, this was planned- it's not by mere chance that she uses an Ukiyoe Tarot deck, which has a Buddhist influence. (Aishuu winks at Ely and whispers, "Be quiet, or I start on that Beryl piece I'm always threatening!")  
  
For those of you wondering what kind of car Van has, it's an Aston Bentley, deep blue. Hitomi doesn't recognize it cause they're kinda rare... wanted something suitable for a prince, ne?  
  
  
  
Up Next: Moon  
  
Keywords: Fear, Illusion, Imagination, Bewilderment  
  
As Always, Reviews are strongly encouraged! ^_~ 


	4. Moon

Quicksilver's Quill Offers  
Mystic Eyes  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
Disclaimer: Escaflowne is Copyright (c) 1996-2000 Sunrise, TV Tokyo/Bandai Entertainment, Inc./Egan Loo. I'm merely borrowing the concept and characters for fun.  
Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice  
Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as long as the copyright message (Copyright (c) 1995-2002 by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in commercial documents or products, or used for promotional purposes.   
AN: Thanks Juli, my beta... For those who have been encouraging this, much to my surprise. Ciel Envoye, Ely, Stef... thank you. A Special thanks to Jo and Calvin, whose immensely cheering Feedback letters reminded me why I write.  
  
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PART THREE: MOON  
Keywords:  
Fear, Illusion  
Imagination, Bewilderment  
***************************  
  
  
If you look around the room right now, you will (probably!) see people and objects that are comforting in their familiarity. Everything is exactly as you expect it to be. You know that if you closed your eyes and opened them, the room would be the same. But...have you ever lost the familiar to find, in its place, a world so extraordinary you can't even grasp it? This is the experience of the Moon.   
  
Most of the time we live in a tiny pocket of normality that we wrap around us like a security blanket. We turn our backs on the mysterious universe that waits outside. From time to time we may sneak a peak with our imagination, or venture out through fantasy or expanded awareness. We can be thrust out there unprepared through drugs, madness or intense experiences such as battle.   
  
The Moon is the light of this realm - the world of shadow and night. Although this place is awesome, it does not have to be frightening. In the right circumstances, the Moon inspires and enchants. It holds out the promise that all you imagine can be yours. The Moon guides you to the unknown so you can allow the unusual into your life.   
  
Sadly, we are usually afraid of the Moon. In readings, this card often stands for fears and anxieties - the ones that come in the darkest part of the night. Card 18 also stands for illusions. It is easy to lose our way in the moonlight. Be careful not to let deceptions and false ideas lead you astray. Sometimes the Moon is a signal that you are lost and wandering aimlessly. You must find your way back to the path and your clarity of purpose.   
  
***************************  
  
Hitomi didn't know what to say or do. Her eyes were transfixed on the swinging pendant. Van looked slightly surprised as he saw the shock written all over her face, but he quickly grabbed the necklace and shoved it back under his shirt. "Sorry. I've had it as long as I can remember- it may look feminine, but it feels like a part of me."  
  
She opened her mouth and moved it wordlessly, unable to find anything intelligible to say. Then she panicked.  
  
The door swung open almost magically, since she doubted that her fumbling fingers were capable of anything responsible. Van's expression changed from slight embarrassment to full-grown confusion, as he called out her name, but it was too late. She had already managed to stumble out of the car, and started to run.  
  
She darted into the dorm, throwing her ID through the security partition at the uniformed security officer was sitting there. The security officer swiped her card, and the magnetic strip served to open interior door. She darted in, glancing back to see if Van had followed her.  
  
He hadn't.  
  
She wondered if she was more disappointed or relieved.  
  
The officer looked at her, and blinked. Hitomi remembered then that the campus put security on each of the front desk between 11 and 6, instead of students. The officer wore a nametag, "Takamura."  
  
"Kanzaki-san?" the petite officer said, holding Hitomi's ID. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine," she said. It had been a short run, not even enough to wind her, although she was still feeling shaken from the sight of Van's pendant. Still, she was sure she was dead white, and her green eyes probably stood out against her skin like lanterns in the dark.   
  
Takamura scanned the girl, noticing the party clothes and over-sized jacket. "Kanzaki-san, did you have a problem with a date?" she asked gently.  
  
Hitomi blinked in confusion. "No..." Why wasn't Takamura giving her back her ID?  
  
Takamura slid out from behind the desk and walked around. "There's no shame in coming forward if a boy did something to you. It can happen to anyone."   
  
"Nothing happened!" Hitomi insisted as it dawned on her that Takamura suspected that she had possibly been a victim of date rape.  
  
Takamura seemed unconvinced, but didn't push. She handed Hitomi's ID back over to her, wrapped up in a piece of paper. Hitomi took it and darted down the hallway, her sandals not inhibiting her running a bit. She fumbled with the keys to her door for a second before she managed to unlock it, letting herself in.  
  
The room that had been her sanctuary for the past two months seemed foreign. She walked into the darkness, not bothering to turn the lights on until she reached her bed. Hitomi clicked the small table lamp on, throwing strange shadows across the wall. Her books were still scattered on the floor, and she looked at her copy of Hamlet, wondering if it had only been a few hours ago that the world had been simpler.  
  
She shivered, cold, wondering why she was still wearing Bridget's jacket. That meant she would have to return it... and Bridget was the one who had got her into this entire mess. Hitomi supposed Bridget hadn't meant to cause problems. Still, she removed the pale jacket and shoved it in her closet as she kicked her shoes off, hoping to think of some other way to get it back to Bridget.   
  
She was avoiding the issue, she knew.  
  
How was Van here, she wondered.  
  
He had her necklace... it had to be Van- yet she had run from him.  
  
Why had she run from him? Was she that much of a coward?  
  
She looked around her room, wondering how things that had been familiar had turned into objects she barely recognized. The chair seemed like some object she had never seen before, while the various lamps reared from their corners, grasping at her, shadowed in unaccustomed darkness. And the telephone had become a foreign contraption that she barely knew how to use. She blinked at it a few times before coming to a decision.   
  
She would talk to Yukari, and tell her the truth. Yukari wouldn't think she was crazy; rather, she would know what to do.  
  
She grabbed the cordless off her desk, and pulled the phone card out of her purse. She hadn't bothered to pay for the phone line, since she called so few people, so she had to rely on calling cards. An annoyance, but she didn't feel like paying the extortionist fees the company charged college students. She patiently went through the routine, and was embarrassed that she had to look up Yukari's phone number. It was true that Yukari had been living in her new dorm for only two months, but there had been a time in high school when they talked to each other every day.   
  
The phone rang twice, between a sleepy voice answered. "Moshi moshi?"  
  
Hitomi blinked in surprise. She had been expecting to hear Yukari's voice; instead, a masculine voice was there. "I'm so sorry!" she said. "I must have the wrong num-"  
  
"Hitomi?" The voice sounded more alert.  
  
"Yes?" She didn't recognize it.  
  
"It's Amano," the voice said. "Are you okay? You never call this late..."  
  
Hitomi's mind was reeling. "I-I just realized that I hadn't called Yukari in a couple of weeks, and I thought she' be up..."  
  
"I can get her, if you give me a second..." Amano volunteered.  
  
"No, no... I'll call her later."  
  
Silence hung between them for an eternal second before he replied. "Okay. Hitomi... are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine!" she insisted.   
  
Again there was silence. "Hitomi... we're worried about you. If you decide you can't talk to Yukari, you can talk to me. I'd like to consider myself your friend."  
  
"Thanks, Amano-sempai. Nothing's wrong, though. I just felt like talking. Tell Yukari that I love her! Bai Bai!" she said, clicking the phone's off button.  
  
She stared at the receiver for a second before throwing it violently across the room, watching it smack into the poster of Gackt she had hung on the wall. There was a satisfying CRASH, and it dawned on her that she had just broken it. She stared at the wreckage for a second, before pulling her knees up against her chest and wrapping her arms around her body.  
  
Amano had been with Yukari. She knew Yukari had been adamant about getting a single, and knowledge now fell perfectly in place. Yukari and Amano... she hadn't believed they were at that stage in their relationship. She suddenly felt even more alone, and abandoned.  
  
She hadn't loved Amano... but the knowledge that Yukari had taken that step without telling her hurt. She had believed herself beyond petty betrayals, but tonight had just turned her world upside down, in so many ways. She felt the tears she had been repressing for so many years aching to be released, but Hitomi wouldn't cry. Crying was a futile pursuit.  
  
She would do what she always did when she felt pressured- she would run.  
  
Hitomi uncurled from her ball of misery and stripped the beautiful dress off, tossing it onto the chair in the corner of her room. Then she pulled out a sports bra, running shorts, socks and a sweatshirt, and got into them quickly, before putting on her running sneakers. She knew her coach would kill her for wearing them off the track, but there was no way she'd run without proper ankle support.  
  
Again she grabbed her key and ID, and shoved about ten dollars into her carrier before putting the thing beneath the jacket. It jangled and felt uncomfortable, but campus policy required that students have ID on them at all times. She recognized the logic behind it, but it didn't make it comfortable for running. She sighed as she tied her shoes up tightly.  
  
No matter how upset she was, she never forgot to stretch before running. She carefully spent five minutes warming up, careful to keep her mind empty. It wouldn't do to have a blotchy face- Takamura would stop her on her way out, and she was sure the officer would already give her a hard enough time as it was. Even though KO had a wonderful record for campus security, going out on a Friday night at two AM to run wasn't one of the brightest things she'd ever done.   
  
She locked her door carefully after completing her exercises, and darted by the check-in before Takamura could start lecturing her on date rape again. She needed some time to think, and some time to forget. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do first, so she set her 50,000 yen shoes on the path and let them carry her, breaking into a run.  
  
Hitomi was a sprinter, not a distance runner, but she still ran at least five kilometers each morning before breakfast. She knew all the paths around campus quite well, and her feet automatically took her on her usual run.  
  
She ran until she lost all track of time and self. She ran until her lungs began to burn, and her feet ached. She ran her usual path three times, and was halfway through her fourth when she doubled over, gasping for air. It was still dark out, and she had no idea what time it was. The crescent moon hung overhead, providing just enough illumination to warp lampposts and other nearby objects into monsters and other horrifying creatures of imagination.  
  
The sound of her breathing rang heavily in her ears as she sat down, gasping for breath. She had taxed herself foolishly, and over a minor upset. Why shouldn't Yukari and Amano be lovers? It was natural... and there was no reason for her to be upset. Just because she couldn't have Van didn't mean that Yukari shouldn't experience intimacy, either.  
  
She needed water. She was going to dehydrate....  
  
She needed to stop being such an idiot. Donovan Masanori couldn't be her Van. Her Van was still on Fanelia. She had to accept that. They said that everyone in the world had a twin.... Well, she had just met Van's... and the coincidence had extended so far as to include his name. After all, she had pulled the Wheel of Fortune, and perhaps this was what the card had been warning about.  
  
Hitomi had just about become reconciled to this point of view when she heard the sound of approaching footsteps. A solitary set of shoes hitting the pavement gently, the stride sounded too long to be that of a woman...   
  
If she was lucky, it would be a security guard, but Hitomi knew that her luck had been out the last twenty-four hours, ever since one of her teammates had suddenly become interested in the social life of the "ice queen". She cursed herself for not bringing her pocket mace or whistle, and she knew she was too tired to outrun an attacker. She shut her eyes as she rose to her feet, trying to steady her breathing.   
  
The footsteps approached, closer... closer, until the person came into range, stopped about ten feet away. Sure enough, it was a man. Tall, slender. Still too far away to make out his features, but the moonlight turned his hair white, and the long jacket he was wearing billowed out around him like a cape. "You shouldn't be out this late," he called.  
  
"I was just about to go back to my dorm," she answered.  
  
"Do you need an escort?" he offered.  
  
"No... I'm jogging, and you're not wearing the shoes for it," she said coolly.   
  
He laughed. His voice was familiar, but she couldn't place him. Still, she had met so many people since coming to campus that it was quite possible that she had simply forgotten him. "Be careful, Kanzaki-san. It's not safe for an attractive young lady to be wandering around campus at this time of night. You never know who you'll meet." He laughed softly, turned around and walked the other way.  
  
She watched him go, wondering who the hell he was. Obviously they had met, or at least he recognized her. That wasn't that difficult, as she was a campus celebrity because of her running, but it was still annoying to have people come up to her and pretend to be her friend.  
  
She hated that part of track.   
  
She just wanted to run.  
  
With a sigh of resignation, she spun around and started to jog back to the dorm. He was right that it was insane for her to be out- she should be in her dorm. Being upset about Van and Yukari would get her nowhere. If she was smart, she'd just go curl up in bed and pretend that today had never happened, and go back to her normal life.  
  
Go back to being miserable...  
  
She almost tripped over her own feet as that thought came to her. Was she miserable? She had thought her life fairly content- she was a star athlete, a competent student, and the beloved child of her family. It was true that she'd been locking away part of herself, her mystical heritage, but that had brought her nothing but heartache in the past.   
  
But... how had she been living? Stagnating, existing? Just waiting for the next day to come, and the day after that...what was the point?  
  
For the first time in years she had felt alive, when she had seen Donovan. She had felt the surge of possibilities, the joy of hope. Hitomi had felt herself open up to the belief that yes, Van could have returned to her, against all odds. After all, hadn't Gaea taught her that miracles were possible? Didn't she learn that love was the most potent force of all? Why wouldn't Van cross worlds to be with her?  
  
Her jog slowed into a cool-down walk as her dorm came into sight. As she thought about it, the situation was slowly starting to make more sense. She was afraid of taking the chance that Donovan COULD be Van... because she knew, deep in her heart, he most likely wasn't. Van was loyal to Fanelia, and Fanelia needed him. He was the last of his family, the last King, and he had to rule. He might love her, but he couldn't.  
  
It had been up to her, and she had failed. She had come home, choosing the safety of Earth over her love for Van.   
  
And that was the crux of the matter.  
  
She had never wanted to admit it, but she could have -should have- stayed with Van on Gaea. If the Emperor of Zaibach had managed to stay all those years there, surely she could have managed to do the same. But she hadn't- she had returned home a second time.   
  
She was barely aware that she was crying until she saw the tears hit the pavement, like the first drops of a summer shower. Her hand went to her cheek, and she rested it against the warm wetness for a second before trotting back to the dorm.  
  
She felt so tired.  
  
Takamura was still sitting at the desk. She pushed her ID card through the slot, annoyed at the procedure. Hitomi had the feeling the security guard was going to take the opportunity to lecture her again.   
  
She was right. "Kanzaki-san... are you okay?" the officer asked after letting the girl through the security door..  
  
"I'm fine... I just had a rather unsettling conversation with an ex-boyfriend," she fibbed. Amano had never been her boyfriend, but she knew that the security guard would most likely buy that. And lay off. "I needed to go for a run- I always go running to think about things."  
  
"Still... it's too late to be going around campus by yourself..."  
  
"Takamura-san... I'm eighteen years old. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." Hitomi leveled the cool look she'd been using effectively on people for years. It was a look that had cowed better people then a security guard at a college, and it didn't fail her now.  
  
"Fine, fine..." Takamura passed the ID card back to Hitomi, who took it disdainfully, pretending there were no tearstains on her face. "Still, if you do this again, I'm going to call your RA... or the Counseling Center. Just because you're upset doesn't mean you should do things that are risky."  
  
Hitomi nodded and murmured a few platitudes before taking off down the hall to her room. With a sigh of relief she unlocked her door, flicked her lights on, and walked into her room, ready to collapse. She wrestled with the knots on her shoes (which suddenly seemed too complicated for her numbed fingers to untie) and managed to undo them after a struggle. Stripping down to her underwear, she resolved to take a shower as soon as she woke up in the morning. She felt grubby, but it was almost time for sunrise, and her exhaustion outweighed her desire to clean up. Quickly she dug up one of the overly large T-shirts she preferred to sleep in and threw it on. She knew her hair still had all the blue goop Bridget had put in all those hours ago, and her face still bore the ruins of her makeup, but she didn't care. She just wanted to sleep.  
  
Sleep would bring blissful nothingness, for she rarely remembered her dreams.  
  
As she pulled the blankets of her bed back so she could crawl in, she was surprised to hear the sound of paper crinkling. Her homework was still scattered on the floor- she never bothered to do it in her bed, since she knew she would fall asleep if she did it in her bed. With a puzzled look, she found the piece of neon pink paper that had made the noise.  
  
It was the pamphlet Takamura had given her. It was about date rape.   
  
Hitomi stared down at it in amazement before she crumpled it up and threw the paper wad across the room. Appropriately enough, it landed on the remains of the phone.  
  
END PART THREE  
  
  
Technical Notes: Ah, Date Rape can happen, and is VERY frequent on college campuses. It's quite natural Takamura thought that. A resource: http://www.ncpc.org/10yth3.htm  
  
  
Up Next: The Fool  
Keywords: Beginning, Spontaneity, Apparent Folly, Faith 


	5. The Fool

Quicksilver's Quill Offers  
Mystic Eyes  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
standard disclaimers  
Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice  
Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as long as the copyright message (Copyright (c) 1995-2002 by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in commercial documents or products, or used for promotional purposes.   
AN: For those who have been encouraging this, much to my surprise. Ciel Envoye, Ely, Stef, Jo... thank you.  
  
***************************  
PART FOUR: THE FOOL  
Keywords:  
Beginning, Spontaneity  
Apparent Folly, Faith  
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As Card 0, the Fool lies at the beginning of the major Arcana, but also somewhat apart from the other cards. In medieval courts, the court jester was someone who was not expected to follow the same rules as others. He could observe and then poke fun. This makes the Fool unpredictable and full of surprises. He reminds us of the unlimited potential and spontaneity inherent in every moment. There is a sense with this card that anything goes - nothing is certain or regular. The Fool adds the new and unfamiliar to a situation.   
  
The Fool also represents the complete faith that life is good and worthy of trust. Some might call the Fool too innocent, but his innocence sustains him and brings him joy. In readings, the Fool can signal a new beginning or change of direction - one that will guide you onto a path of adventure, wonder and personal growth. He also reminds you to keep your faith and trust your natural responses. If you are facing a decision or moment of doubt, the Fool tells you to believe in yourself and follow your heart no matter how crazy or foolish your impulses may seem.   
  
  
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Hitomi usually got up early every morning to jog before breakfast, even on weekends. Needless to say, after her eventful night, she fully intended on breaking her usual pattern. She was buried up to her eyebrows under three comforters, and was sleeping deeply.  
  
She didn't hear the scratching in her lock, or the "click" that signaled that it had been forced opened, which was unusual, since she was usual well-aware of her surroundings. She didn't feel the presence of another student in her room until the person yanked her blankets back, startling her into wakefulness by yelling, "JUST WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?" at the top of their lungs.  
  
It was certainly an interesting way to awaken.  
  
Hitomi skittered backwards, making a grab for her covers, which were pulled out of her reach by an unsympathetic Bridget McClellan. The redhead looked remarkably awake for someone who should have, by all right, be suffering from the hangover of the century. Her hair was still damp from the shower, curling slightly inwards at the tips, and her face was clean of the previous night's makeup. She wore khakis and a yellow summer sweater, which had a scooped neck that drew the eye to her impressive assets. Still, it was her ferocious scowl that Hitomi's sleepy attention focused on.  
  
"Bridget? How did you get in here?" she asked.  
  
"I picked the lock." She was totally unashamed at herself, as she gathered the blankets and put them out of Hitomi's reach.  
  
"You picked the LOCK?" Hitomi exclaimed in disbelief.  
  
"I needed to talk to you." Now that Bridget's hands were free, they found their way to her hips. She leaned forward on the balls of her feet belligerently, her jaw jutting out stubbornly. She looked about ready to rip something -or someone- apart with her bare hands.  
  
There was something familiar about it, but Hitomi couldn't place it. "What do you want?"  
  
"I get home at four, and I find a message on my machine from Van. Rather than thanking me for introducing him to the girl of his dreams, he's talking about how my friend took off when she saw his pendant... now why would you do that?" Bridget demanded icily.  
  
Hitomi hadn't known her teammate had such a temper. Bridget had always struck her as happy-go-lucky, but she was learning differently now. Bri's sapphire blue eyes were spitting fire, and Hitomi wondered if the other girl was going to strangle her. "I- was surprised..."  
  
"Is there something wrong with a guy wearing a necklace? You have my cousin questioning his masculinity... he was really upset... not that he came out and said it, but I could tell." Bridget's eyes turned into two pieces of ice. "No one upset Van..." Bridget said in a dangerously level tone.  
  
Hitomi looked at the furious Irish girl, and took a deep breath, trying to think of an explanation. Usually she wouldn't bothering explaining her actions, but she genuinely like Bridget (it was hard not to), and didn't want her mad at her. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.  
  
Bridget seemed to pull up, and some of the rage seemed to drain out of her. "What?"  
  
"I'm sorry." Hitomi sat up completely, hanging her legs over the edge of the bed. She was slightly stiff, since she hadn't probably stretched after her monstrous run, and she knew she was in desperate need of a shower. "I- I had a pendant, once, exactly like that. I gave it to a- a friend, and I thought I'd never see it again. Seeing it on Van was... a surprise. I panicked. I didn't mean to upset him."  
  
"Well, you did!" Bridget said. She still wore a scowl on her face as she plopped down on the bed beside Hitomi, jostling the bed. "I really thought you were a good person..."  
  
"No one is a good person," Hitomi said. "We all pretend to be, but when it comes down to it, there's no such thing."  
  
Bridget looked ready to argue that point, but stopped, staring deeply into Hitomi's eyes. "Who hurt you, Hitomi?" she asked.  
  
"What?"   
  
"Who hurt you? You're so bitter towards the world..."  
  
Hitomi went ice. That was the only way she could describe her own reaction- her feelings froze, and her confusion of the previous day disappeared with it. Bridget had triggered one of Hitomi's defense mechanism, and with it, Hitomi's old coolness. "The world isn't a perfect place," she said. Her eyes hardened into crystals that showed no soul, and she rose to her feet, leaving Bridget behind.  
  
As she left everyone behind.  
  
"Hmmm.." Bridget said, though it was obvious she wanted to argue. She flopped down on the bed full-length, stretching leisurely. "Want to go to lunch?" she offered.  
  
"I have to meet my mother at two- I do it every weekend," Hitomi said, though that was stretching the truth. She hadn't really had any plans to meet her mother, but now seemed like a good time to get off campus and away from the weirdness that had just become a part of her life again.  
  
"Uh-huh... then I suggest you get dressed," Bridget suggested, coming to her feet. "Your bed's not bad, for a dorm bed. Sucks they make freshmen live on campus, though. You ever feel like getting away, let me know. You can crash at my place."  
  
"Thank you," Hitomi said, turning to her dresser and pulling out clothes. Her mother would be pleased to see her. She could bring her books, and get some extra studying in... Hitomi's mind started to wander, dismissing the hyper girl who was poking through her collection of CDs.  
  
"Anyway, I'll meet you here Monday at six, so we can run!" Bridget said, bounding for the door with amazing energy.  
  
Hitomi spun around. "Meet me? Monday?" she echoed, managed to catch the redhead just before she escaped.  
  
"Sure! I'll give you tomorrow to think, but we still have some serious talking to do! Besides, none of the others are willing to get up that early to train with me! Bai bai!" she said, waving cutely before slamming the door shut behind her.  
  
Hitomi blinked, feeling like she had just been swept away by a hurricane.  
  
***************************  
  
By Monday, Hitomi was feeling more balanced than she had in a while. She was half-tempted to pretend to forget about meeting Bridget, but she knew that Bridget would just keep hounding her until she caved in. It would be better to meet her for a jog, pretend nothing was wrong, and go to classes.  
  
She tied her shoes on tightly and performed a few stretches, her soft blonde hair scraped back from her face and into a bun. One of the metal pins dug into her scalp uncomfortably, and she adjusted it a few times, trying to get it to lay more comfortably, with no luck. With a mental sigh of disgust, she yanked it out, and a lock feel free, tumbling right between her eyes.  
  
She was just about to attend to it when her door burst open, and Bridget bounced it. She looked disgustingly bright-eyed and alert, and her teal jogging outfit was amazingly cheerful for the early hour of the day. "Ohayo, Tomi-chan!" she said.  
  
"It's Hitomi," Hitomi corrected her, trying to get her hair to behave. "I don't use any nicknames. Have you stretched?"  
  
"I stretched before conning that co-ed to let me in- do you know his name? He's a frosh, awfully cute... wonder if he's interesting in an older woman?" Bridget said cheerfully. "Here, let me," she said, and grabbed the pin Hitomi had been struggling with out of her hands.  
  
"That's really not-" Hitomi began, but Bridget's deft hands were braiding the hair and wrapping it into her bun before her protest made sense.  
  
"It's no biggie. I love doing hair. Ready to run?"  
  
"I'm always ready to run," Hitomi answered.  
  
Bridget looked a little nervous. "This is just a training run, not a race..."  
  
"If it gets to much for you, I can slow down," Hitomi offered consolingly. She knew that it wouldn't become an issue- even if she was dying, Bridget McClellan wouldn't admit defeat. Besides, of everyone on the team, Bri was the one most capable of keeping up.  
  
"You can eat my dust, Kanzaki!" Bridget said laughingly, grabbing the door and barreling out of it, her laughter echoing down the empty halls.   
  
Hitomi took off awkwardly, a good five feet behind Bridget. The Irish girl hurtled over the couch in the lobby, gaining even more time over Hitomi, who frankly stunk at hurtling. Then Bri blew a kiss to the surprised desk attendant, who hit the automatic button that unlocked the doors and opened them remotely, and allowing Bridget to speed unimpeded out into the new day.  
  
Hitomi had been preparing for her usual jog, not a breakneck dash over rough terrain. Around them other walkers and a few joggers watched them past, surprised to see two of the schools star sprinters racing will-he nil-he, and even more surprised that Bridget was in the lead. The jump Bridget had gotten on Hitomi had given her enough of a lead to keep, and Hitomi was too concerned about breaking an ankle to really cut-loose and just run. Still, she couldn't remember the last time she had been behind someone in a race, and it was oddly exhilarating.  
  
She was chasing a flesh-and-blood person.  
  
Hitomi ran as she always did, waiting for that sensation of... maybe, maybe.   
  
But it didn't come.  
  
Instead, she felt her blood pounding through her slender body, and she could taste the spring air, alive with the possibilities. Bridget ran in front of her, the pounding of her footsteps forming a steady cadence that Hitomi used to pace her breathing.  
  
Bridget didn't bother to glance over her shoulder, but rather focused on what was ahead of her, dodging the people who were going in the opposite direction.   
  
Hitomi and Bridget raced until they came to the quad, when Bridget abruptly did a handstand, then let herself sprawl onto the grass. Hitomi slowed down, for once having exerted herself. "You should cool down properly."  
  
"Ah, I'll get a cramp or two... I've had worse," Bridget said.  
  
Hitomi rested her hands on her hips, staring down at the carefree redhead. "Still, coach would kill you..."  
  
"And she's going to find out how?" Bridget asked.  
  
"Half the campus saw us running like lunatics, Bridget-san," she said.  
  
"Chan."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Bridget's hand -now with nails polished with neon green paint, accented by sparkly pink butterfly stickers- snaked out and caught Hitomi's right ankle, jerking it. Hitomi wobbled, and went crashing to the ground. "We're friends, ne?   
  
Hitomi caught herself, rolled over, and stared at the strangely hyper girl. "You're weird," she said.  
  
"I'm just different than what you're used to. That doesn't make me weird, per se... well, I guess it does, but that's never bothered me before. Oh... look at the clouds! I wonder if we're going to get some rain?" Bridget said, shading her eyes the sun with a hand and pointing up to the sky with the others.  
  
Hitomi listened to her babble, studying the clouds. "Perhaps."  
  
"I used to dream that the clouds were guardians to some vast secret- that if I could fly, I'd be able to go through the clouds, and see what secrets they held- perhaps heaven is really up there, or maybe there's another world... Or just that silver lining my nurse used to promise me was in every dark cloud. You know?"  
  
Hitomi didn't answer. She knew that there were other worlds, but that they were hidden far beyond the clouds.  
  
"Ah, I'm rambling again. Anyway, I have an eight am, so I should get back. You ready, Tomi-chan?"   
  
"Hitomi," she corrected.  
  
"Whatever," Bridget laughed, coming to her feet and taking off like the wind was aiding her.  
  
Which didn't help her against Hitomi, for this time Kanzaki Hitomi remembered how to run. No distractions, no race... just RUN. There was no thoughts of catching Van, just the rhythm of her body, and the feeling of freedom, the knowledge that there was nothing that could stop her.  
  
She ran all the back to the dorm, Bridget falling behind her early on, and staying there. There were more people around now, and they paused to watch her, her form graceful and perfect and somehow divine.  
  
She halted at her dorm, abruptly realizing her ID was still inside. Leaning over, she tried catch her breath, turning to glare at Bridget, who gave her a grin. "That was fun! We should do this again- not on a meet or time trials day, though."  
  
"Definitely not," Hitomi agreed.  
  
"Well, tomorrow is the meet against Todai... so maybe Wednesday... argh, I have a test at seven thirty.... Stupid early morning tests, doncha think? Guess Thursday, then! Anyway, see you at practice!"  
  
Hitomi watched the amazing hyper redhead bounce towards her car, and wondered how she'd get into her dorm.  
  
***************************  
  
Todai had a tough track team.  
  
One of the girls, Hajime Fuuko, was rumored to be a shoo-in for the national team. She hadn't lost in a year, and had only had one tie, and that had been last year, against Bridget.  
  
But she had never raced against Kanzaki Hitomi.  
  
The crowd was heavier then usual, and Hitomi could see that the entire campus had turned out, as well as some reporters. This was news- first meeting of two girls who would most likely be two of the nation's star hopes for the Olympics in 2004.   
  
Hitomi watched the crowd for a second before tuning them out. Her mother didn't come to her meets anymore because of work, and there was no one else she cared about. Yukari wasn't there as her manager, so she lugged her own bag over, took a small sip of water, wet her forehead, and did some stretches. She was ranked second, an unusual position for her, since she and Hajime Fuuko had the same record. Since Fuuko was a junior, she was given the first seed.  
  
Bridget was talking cheerfully to her manager, but Hitomi was off in her own world, concentrating on her body. She heard the call for runners, and went over to the starting blocks.  
  
Fuuko was amazingly tall for a Japanese woman, and something about her eyes suggested that she was probably a half. The girl gave her a half-smile. "I'm going to win."  
  
"Believe that if you want," Hitomi said indifferently, as Bridget took the third position beside her.  
  
"Oi, Fuuko-chan!" Bridget said. "No fair psyching out the competition! Or trying to... Hitomi's a little bit beyond that!" she laughed.  
  
Hitomi just gave her teammate a Look, then turned her attention to the starter. "Runners take your positions!"  
  
She slid into the starting blocks, bracing her feet carefully, and focusing on the gun. She took a deep breath, then exhaled, waiting. The crowd and her competitors disappeared... "On Your Mark.... Get Set..." she poised, ready...  
  
BEEEP!  
  
False start.  
  
She turned, glancing at the runner in lane six, who either through nerves or plan had false-started, taking off before the gun was fired. Some runners liked to do it, to unnerve their competition. Hitomi thought it was childish, the sign of poor sportsmanship.  
  
She sighed, straightened, and took a moment to stretch as the usual warnings were issued before stepping back into the blocks. The starter again raised his gun. "On Your Mark... Get Set... GO!"  
  
The loud firing of the gun had her launching out before she even was conscious of moving. There was nothing except her and the track, and the search.  
  
Her breathing was even as she moved forward, her perfect start helping her quickly surpassed the other runners as she ran, waiting for her dreams to start.  
  
This time, she swore, she would catch him.  
  
She always swore that, whenever she raced. She never did, but it was a reason to keep running... and a reason to never look back.  
  
Had she looked back, she would have seen a stunned and frustrated expression on Fuuko's face, and an amused smile on Bridget's face as they finished 1, 2-2... Hitomi ignored the ribbon that broke across her chest, bowed to the race officials, and then walked a cool-down lap before Fuuko came over to her.  
  
"How- how?" she demanded. "You beat me by three tenths of a second! And this was my best time for this track!" The taller girl's voice was angry.  
  
"You race to win. I just run. There is the difference between us." Hitomi turned to where the judges were presenting the medals, troubled.  
  
This run, too, had been different.  
  
Why?  
  
Why hadn't she thought of Van?  
  
This match... she had ran as she had ran the others, but perhaps this time had been one of her fastest. She had ran until she thought her heart would explode, but this time, there was no visions of nearly catching Van.  
  
She wasn't chasing him anymore... because all she had to do was pick up the phone and call. Her running had brought her to the appropriate place- now she simply had to speak, and undo the damage she had caused by running at the wrong time.  
  
Hitomi frowned thoughtfully, ignoring the weight of her new medal. The sun was sting to set, and by all rights she should head for the showers, but she wanted some time to think. So instead, she pulled her warm ups on and sat down, thinking.  
  
Bridget was right- she had screwed up. She had been offered a second chance, and she had been too concerned over the hows and whys, instead of just going with it, and embracing her fate... embracing fortune.  
  
Bridget appeared in front of her, like a ghost or a shadow suddenly given form. She tilted her head, and held her hands behind her back. The silver medal of second place glittered against her breast. "Good race, as always. Thanks for running Fuuko into the ground- she needed it."  
  
"No one needs it." She stared at the redhead, wondering how to broach the subject of Van with her. She was protective of her cousin, and even though Bridget had given signs that she desired friendship, chances were that she wouldn't let Hitomi have another chance with Van.  
  
Not that Hitomi blamed her.  
  
"It's good for her. Fuuko had forgotten what it was like to lose, and that's something everyone needs to know," Bridget said calmly, before raising her eyes to the sky.  
  
"Aren't you afraid I'll forget how to?"  
  
"No. You already know more about loss that just about anyone I've ever met before." Bridget's gaze lowered, and she seemed to make a decision. "I have to get going. We've got tomorrow off, but I'll see you Thursday morning, at six!"  
  
Hitomi smiled at her. "That sounds great."  
  
"It will be!" Bridget turned and started to jog away, then whirled when she was about ten feet away. "CATCH!" she yelled, throwing something.  
  
Something glimmered as it soared through the air, and Hitomi reflectively reached up to catch it before it could hit the ground. As soon as her fingers closed around it, she knew what it was.  
  
Van's pendant.  
  
She looked at it in surprise, then up at where Bridget ask her what she thought she was doing.   
  
But Bridget wasn't there anymore. The wind picked up, and Hitomi sat alone, the field abandoned.  
  
It was fate.  
  
Fate had brought Van back to her.  
  
It was Van... there was no doubt about it now.  
  
She could tell- this wasn't some look-alike pendant.... It was the pendant. She had held her hands against it, feeling the slight imperfections in the chain. How often had she fallen asleep, cradling it on Gaea, using it as a link home? How often had she relied on it to lead her? How often had she taken comfort in the knowledge that Van at least had this part of her?  
  
"Why are you back?" she whispered to it, even though it could speak. "Are you here to torment me?"  
  
The pendant lay cool against her hands, and she let it fall, the chain dangling between her fingers. "I haven't done this in so long..." she said, even more softly. "Well... tell me where to go."  
  
When she was younger, she used to have to focus a lot of time and concentration to douse. Now, though, the necklace practically jumped under its own will, forward and slightly to the left. She blinked, and turned towards where it was pointing...  
  
...to see a confused Donovan Masanori looking at her. He quickly crossed the distance between them, and she saw the confusion in his eyes, as she rose to her feet to meet him partway there. "That's my necklace," he said. "I've been looking everywhere for it..."  
  
"Bridget threw it at me," Hitomi said, studying the seemingly delicate pendant before holding it up so it caught the late afternoon sunlight.  
  
An embarrassed smile crossed found life on his face. "Ah. I should have suspected. She said she saw you with it, and... well, I just should have known. She's an unrepentant meddler."  
  
"But you love her," Hitomi said. She was jealous.  
  
"Sometimes she was all I had," Van answered.  
  
"Really." Hitomi looked at the locker rooms, aware that she was still wearing her sweaty clothing, and her hair was scraped and lifeless.  
  
"I saw you run." He changed the subject, apparently aware that she was uncomfortable.  
  
"I think most people did."  
  
"What were you looking for?"  
  
"Huh?" she was confused. Most people usually complimented her on her skill, said it was wonderful or amazing to watch her run- Van....  
  
"When you run, you don't look at your competitors or the finish line. Bri always wants to win... you don't care about that- winning is incidental to it. Your eyes are on something else... what?"  
  
She stared at him, unable to believe that he was having this conversation with her. "You... I think I'm running towards you..." she said softly, staring into his cinnamon eyes.  
  
He smiled, touching her cheek softly with her hand. "Why did you run from me?" he asked.  
  
"Because... I was afraid..."  
  
"Why?" he asked.  
  
"Because I know the possibilities, and I'm afraid of being hurt again."  
  
His hand fell away and he stared at her face. "When I was little, I used to dream. I dreamed of a girl with hair like honey, and a voice that was made of music itself. I knew that I'd meet her someday... and now I have. I won't let her go, because they say that if you dream of your soul mate when your little... you should never let them go."  
  
"But-" she whispered.  
  
"You don't know me, Kanzaki Hitomi, but at least give me a chance. I would never intentionally hurt you, but to love is to share in joy and pain. Without pain, we would never be able to compare the ecstasy love brings."  
  
"I-" she tried, but then decided to concede to inevitable. "I'm afraid."  
  
"Meet me for lunch tomorrow... please? We can be friends... but something tells me I have to know you...."  
  
She shook her head. "If I take a step towards you, I'll fall in love... I can't be your friend...." The pendant dangled between her fingers, and she remembered the way it had pulled her. This was her chance. Her last chance, most likely. She saw the pain in his eyes, and caught onto his arm as he started to turn away. It was time... she had to embrace this.   
  
"If you give me fifteen minutes, I can get a quick shower and changed... would you like to go out to dinner?" she offered shyly.  
  
His eyes lit up. "For you, I would wait an eternity," he said, taking her hand and kissing it in an oddly old-fashion, but sensuous, gesture.  
  
She nodded, and started to tell him where to meet her, but her intuition kicked in. The pendant she was still holding leapt towards the bleachers she has abandoned for her talk. Suspicion crept into her mind. "Bridget!" she called.  
  
An unabashed redhead crawled out from under the bleachers- apparently she had doubled back to find the perfect hiding place. "I wanted to see if you two could actually get your act together!" she announced gleefully. "And I want my matchmaking fee! I accept cash and most major credit cards!"  
  
Van gritted his teeth. "BRI!"  
  
"Well, you needed help, and I wasn't about to let my FAVVVV cousin down!" she pronounced, tapping her foot against the ground.  
  
"Yes, thank you, now SCAT, or I start telling your father EXACTLY what you spend your weekends doing!" Van threatened.  
  
Hitomi watched their bickering like a spectator at a tennis match.  
  
"Well, I'll just get on my way, Van-sama!" Bridget teased, kissing her cousin on the cheek lightly in farewell. Hitomi froze as the other girl waved to her and bounced off.  
  
"Van-sama?" she echoed.  
  
Van blushed. "It's her way of teasing me. My father's really rich, and she says I was raised like a prince, and as soon as she found out about Japanese honorifics... I guess I'm just lucky she doesn't call me oujisama..."  
  
Hitomi was stunned, then she almost burst into tears of joy, as she realized another friend she thought long-lost to her had been beside her for weeks. The pieces of the puzzle clicked together for Hitomi at that minute.  
  
"Thanks, Merle," she whispered softly towards Bridget's retreating back..  
  
Van tilted his head towards Hitomi. "Did you say something?" he asked curiously.  
  
For a split second, she almost told him. Then she thought better of it. So instead, she gave him a smile, and laughed lightly. She stood up on her tiptoes so she could whisper playfully in his ear, "It's a secret!"  
  
He seemed slightly surprised for a second, and then he laughed as well. His cinnamon brown eyes sparkled in challenge. "You're mysterious..." he said.  
  
"Am I?" she asked, swinging her arms back so she could neatly fold them behind her back.  
  
"Yes." His grin widened. "I want to know all your secrets..."   
  
It troubled her for moment, but she brushed it aside. "No man ever knows all of a woman's secrets! It's called the feminine mystique!" she bantered playfully back.  
  
  
END PART FOUR  
  
  
Technical Notes:   
  
  
Up Next: Lovers  
Keywords: Relationship, Personal Beliefs, Sexuality, Values  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
Bri as Merle- yes. This is a Merle who is an adult, human female who hasn't experienced war. She still is slightly animalistic, very playful, and devoted to Van- appropriately enough, she is his cousin. She's also a foreigner with red hair- closest I could get to pink.  
  
Ahh... everything is going so nice and neatly for them.... Now it's time to gum up the works!! *gets monkey wrench out and prepares to wing it into the story with a delighted laugh- then rethinks it and pulls out multiple wrenches* 


	6. Lovers

Aishuu Offers:

Mystic Eyes

mbsilvana@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Escaflowne is Copyright (c) 1996-2000 Sunrise, TV Tokyo/Bandai Entertainment, Inc./Egan Loo. I'm merely borrowing the concept and characters for fun.

Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice. Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as long as the copyright message (Copyright (c) 1995-2002 by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in commercial documents or products, or used for promotional purposes. 

AN: This part is for all those who have been waiting with varying degrees of patience. I know it takes quite a while for me to get sections out, but it's a complex piece and it makes my head spin to write it sometimes! 

  


***************************

PART FIVE: LOVERS

Keywords:

Relationship, Personal Beliefs

Sexuality, Values 

***************************

  


The Lovers is one card that is easy to remember. Love and sex are riveting subjects, and, as you'd expect, this card represents both. The urge for union is powerful, and, in its highest form, takes us beyond ourselves. That is why an angel is blessing the bond between the man and woman on this card. 

  


In readings, Card 6 often refers to a relationship that is based on deep love - the strongest force of all. The relationship may not be sexual, although it often is or could be. More generally, the Lovers can represent the attractive force that draws any two entities together in a relationship - whether people, ideas, events, movements or groups. 

  


Card 6 can also stand for tough value choices and the questioning that goes with them. In some decks, the Lovers shows a man torn between two women - a virgin and a temptress. This rather old-fashioned triangle symbolizes the larger dilemmas we face when we are tempted between right and wrong. 

  


The Lovers can indicate a moral or ethical crossroads - a decision point where you must choose between the high road or the low road. This card can also represent your personal beliefs because to make such a decision you must know where you stand. Following your own path can mean going against those who are urging you in a direction that is wrong for you. 

  


***************************

  
  


Hitomi hit the pass code that would give her access to her phone messages. Her mother tended to call her every day, and she checked them religiously. When the machine informed her she had a message, she grabbed the portable (which she had replaced the day before), and went to the bed, plopped down on it gracelessly, kicking her slippers off. She sighed and pressed the receiver to her ear, wondering if she was going to get a lecture about not visiting.

  


'Hello? Hitomi? I… Well, this is Yukari… can you call me back? I… I'd like to talk to you… I'm really sorry about the last time you called. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to call you back, but it's been a little bit difficult for me to get the courage--I'm not as strong as you. Um… call me. We need to talk. Okay? Please?'

  


Hitomi stared at the phone for a moment, and then, as though her fingers has a will of their own, she hit the number three, which erased all messages her phone service has stored.

  


And promptly forgot about it.

  


***************************

  
  


"Can I sit here?" Hitomi asked quietly.

  


Donovan Masanori looked at her and smiled, shoving aside a few of the large textbooks he had been studying. They were in the largest cafeteria of the campus at noon, and the place was packed. His tray was heaped with all sort of food, while Hitomi was simply eating ramen, a small salad, and – her guilty pleasure – a huge chocolate chip cookie. "Sure," he said.

  


She glanced around. "Are you meeting anyone?"

  


"For lunch? No. Bri usually has class, and I still haven't made too many friends. Most of Bri's are a touch too… extraverted for my tastes, and a lot of people here don't like gaijin."

  


Hitomi blinked. "You're not gaijin…" she said.

  


He picked up a piece of fruit and chewed on it thoughtfully before answering her. "I have American citizenship. My mother was Irish, and my father is Japanese American."

  


She looked thoughtful as she settled herself more comfortably into her seat. Last night had been full of awkward silences and bursts of getting to know each other. She was drawn to him, as he was to her, but there was still so much to learn. The chemistry, though, was undeniable. It was an awkward dance with steps that she had learned so long ago – Van was a familiar partner, but for every two steps they advanced together, they would take a step back.

  


It was one of the most frustrating experiences of her life.

  


Hitomi lowered her eyelids, hiding her thoughts behind her long lashes. Her eyes were too expressive, and Van would be able to read her frustration and confusion."I just didn't really think of you as gaijin - aren't your grandparents from here?"

  


"They left right after the war. I had a great-uncle who was a kamikaze." He took a sip of his drink. "I suppose that's part of the problem – I must be viewed as a traitor."

  


"Maybe," Hitomi answered him. She had never given too much thought to what life as a gaijin in Japan must be like; surely it was unpleasant. If she and Van continued to date, which was her heart's true desire, they would eventually run into problems. She felt her appetite start to leave a little, but forced herself to continue eating. A runner had to maintain a good diet. "But..."

  


He touched her hand gently. "I'm sorry, Hitomi. I seem to be depressing you. Maybe I should go sit somewhere--"

  


"No!" she interrupted him hastily, her voice forceful. "I don't want to force you out of your chair--you were here first. Besides, I want to spend some time with you right now, since I have track practice tonight."

  


His smile made something inside her body tingle and heat spread across her face. "You're too considerate, Hitomi-san. You have to be carefully you don't wear yourself too thin."

  


Her salad was filled with fresh tomatoes, which she normally enjoyed, but the cafe was notorious for adding "special seasonings" for unknown reasons that would turn the stomach if eaten by the unwary. "Being around you seems to fill me with energy," she confessed, before picking away at her meal.

  


"I wonder if we're falling too fast…" he whispered softly, in a voice that wasn't meant to be heard. 

She ignored it politely as he changed the subject, convinced that they could never move to fast. He had come back to her across worlds; they had defied fate. She wanted to be with him forever, now that she had learned the wasteland her life was without him, but she knew that Donovan Masanori still didn't know her and would be scared by the intensity of her feelings for him. 

  


"Did you and Bri run today?" he asked, speaking up.

  


Hitomi rolled her eyes, then had to wonder what was getting into her. Now that she had recognized Merle's reincarnation, she found herself being a bit more prone to exasperation than she had been in years. It was okay to be annoyed at Bri's spontaneity, and arguing with the girl was becoming easier. It was amazing to have Merle back in her life, even in another form. "Bri was at my room at four a.m., claiming she wanted to get an early start… while I was brushing my teeth, she fell asleep in my bed and it took me ten minutes to shake her awake. She's absolutely nuts."

  


"Insanity does not run in my family – she gets it from her father's side," Van said, winking.

  


"That's funny. She said the same thing about you."

  


"She lies," Van said. "Believe me, she lies. When I was four, she tried to convince me that if you ran fast enough, you'd eventually outrun the sun. Things haven't gotten better since."

  


Hitomi smiled. "Maybe she believed it."

  


"Don't believe a word she says!" Van warned, waving a fork to illustrate his words. "She always makes sure she knows the facts before she makes up her lies. The most dangerous thing is a half-truth, and that's something she specializes in!"

  


"Really," Hitomi said. "I know I should say something in her defense, but sadly, I have to believe you."

  


"There's no defending someone from the truth." Van gave her a smile.

  


"The problem is that we often don't know what the truth is until after the fact," Hitomi said

philosophical. She pushed her tray back, leaving the half-finished salad there, along with her barely

touched dessert. Her cookie had been stale, spoiling her indulgence. There was no point in eating junk food if it didn't taste good.

  


He nodded. "Yes, but when we intentionally create a half-truth, that's another thing."

  


"A point." She smiled at him, brushing her long bangs out of her eyes. She needed to get a haircut, or else they would start getting in her way when she ran. She could start wearing a sweatband, but she hated them with a passion. She liked feeling the wind against her skin.

  


"Would you… like to meet tomorrow?" he offered. "I don't have any classes until four, and we can do something, even if it's only meet for lunch again." He blushed a bit, and she was enchanted by his shyness.

  


She remembered how awkward he had been in the past, and was relieved to see that hadn't changed. "I'd like to," she agreed. "I have morning classes, but after eleven, I'm free for the day. Maybe we can do lunch, and spend a few hours together?" Hitomi suggested. "I'd like to talk more to you."

  


He looked like a great pressure had been released at her acceptance. "That would be great. Did you want to catch a movie… or something?"

  


She thought on it. "We could, but it'd be hard to talk. I really… just want to spend time with you," she whispered. 

  


His blush grew even darker. "I want to spend time with you, too," he said. "But other girls I've dated always want to do something, and…"

  


"I'm not a normal girl, Van," she said firmly, squashing down her jealousy of the others girls who had dated Van. "I don't want you to entertain me… I just want to be with you."

  


He seemed to be awed by that idea. "You're wonderful," he said. 

  


"It's nice of you to think so," she said. "But I'm only human…"

  


***************************

  
  


Leaving Van after lunch had been hard, and focusing on her classes had proven to be even harder, but Hitomi had forced herself to. It wasn't like she could completely stop her life simply because she was in love. She had seen other students do it, in high school and university, and some of them had flunked out.

  


Still, she was impatience, and spent a restless night. When Bri arrived to take her running the next morning, the other girl was in high spirits, apparently fully informed about the date and full of advice – most of which was amazingly wrong for Hitomi.

  


"Make sure you wear something loose! Easy access!" Bri advised.

  


"BRI!" Hitomi said, scandalized.

  


"I know where a few good love hotels are..."

  


"And how do you know THAT?"

  


"Not telling," Bri said with a shameless wink. "I'm teasing. Van would be horrified if you took him to one of them. There's one that has a Hello Kitty room, though, which I think might be worth it just for his reaction...."

  


"Bri...." Hitomi said. "I'm going to leave you in the dust today."

  


"Fine, fine. I do have a favor to ask, though."

  


"After what you just said? I honestly can't believe your nerve," Hitomi said.

  


"I need to go to the library to return a book, and look for others for my report for anthropology. Could you come with me?" Bri asked.

  


"I'm supposed to meet Van at noon...."

  


"This won't take that long! And I hate going to the library alone. I always feel so out of place."

  


" I'll meet you at eleven," Hitomi agreed, rolling her eyes. Bri always got what she wanted in the end, so arguing with her was pointless.

  


Of course, as soon as Bri got the library, she promptly abandoned Hitomi to fight with the reference librarian Hitomi decided that poking in the reference section would be more productive, and told Bri something to that effect.

  


Bri waved a hand, and Hitomi rolled her eyes, wandering over to the section on classical literature. She would have a few reports due in a month, and maybe getting a head start wasn't such a bad idea...

  


She noticed a spider on top of one of the books...

  


Her natural loathing of the eight-legged creatures kicked in. She stumbled back, crying out in surprise. It was only the pair of strong arms that caught her that kept her from falling to the hard wooden floor, and possibly injuring herself, which would have been a disaster. She was a runner, after all, and her body was her life.

  


Hitomi craned her head back to try to see who her savior was, but his face was too shrouded in shadows from the dim library. She realized that her own form was probably just as hidden, for which she was relieved. Her blush of embarrassment would be hidden. She hated appearing less than graceful, and finding herself in someone's arms was humiliating.

  


"You need to be more careful, Kanzaki-san," the smooth, low voice said. "You could have twisted an ankle, and then where would our track team be?"

  


"Where it's always been... First in the area." She kept her voice level, trying to ignore the strangely cool hands that gripped her sides. "One runner does not make the team." She waited a second before finally speaking again. "Um, you can let me go now – I've gotten my balance back."

  


"Certainly." The hands settled her upright, and she took a deep breath, turning around to get a better view of the man.

  


He was still lurking in the shadows, much to her disappointment. It was too bad, but all she was able to get was the impression of height and a lean male form. His voice sounded familiar, elegant tones which...

  


"Have we met?" she asked in confusion.

  


"I ran into you when you were running one night," he stated. "You run like the wind, though I wonder what you're running from."

  


She shook her head fiercely, suddenly remembering the man. He had been there that night when her life had crashed down, when she had learned about Van and Amano and Yukari. "That night... I was confused. Usually I run toward something," she insisted.

  


"Really?" he said, and he sounded a bit doubtful. "I've watched your races, and there's a duality to you. You may have your eyes on one goal, but there's something that dogs your footsteps as well. I don't even know if you realize it..."

  


"I-" she started, but he started to turn away.

  


"Think on it, Kanzaki-san. I'll talk to you again soon, I'm sure."

  


Her eyes widened. "Who are you?" she demanded as he started to make good on his retreat.

  


He didn't answer, and Hitomi wondered if he had heard her. She looked over her shoulder, shivering. If Van and Merle were back, who was that man? Possibilities of all the people she had met on Gaea flowed through her mind like water, one lingering over and over.

  


Allen...

  


She dismissed it. Allen wouldn't be so cryptic. Allen was a hero to rescue a damsel in distress, but he would never interrupt her peace of mind the way this stranger did.

  


Or… Would he?

  


She wondered. Donovan and Bri were not the same as Van Fanel and Merle. A life on earth had changed their personalities, and while she recognized them, she knew they were different. Might that have happened to the Knight of Asturia as well? "This world is cruel on the pure of heart, and has no place for heroes…" she whispered to herself. She leaned towards the bookshelf, but a voice distracted her from her dark thoughts and made her forget about the mysterious man.

  


"Tomi-chan!" a voice squealed, and Hitomi whirled around, confronting Bri. Bri smiled at her brightly. "Thanks for coming with me."

  


"It's Hitomi," she corrected automatically, the way she found herself doing ten times a day. There was nothing like Bri when it came to being exasperating. "It's no problem... It gets my mind off the waiting." 

  


"Are you still nervous? I'm sure Van's just as eager... But he won't show it, because he's a guy. He's learned how to suppress that, thanks to his father." Bri tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I returned my book, so we can get out of here."

  


"Did you get the other books you needed for your report?" Hitomi asked.

  


Bri shook her head, her short red hair brushing against her cheeks. "Nope. Looks like I'm going to have to buy them, dammit. I hate spending money on books." 

  


Hitomi didn't say anything, merely following the taller girl out of the library. "I need to go meet Van soon... I had no clue what he has in mind." She forced herself to remain cool, not wanting to give Bri an opportunity to tease her.

  


"Maybe he wants to take you back to his apartment for an afternoon of mad, passionate lovemaking..."

  


"Bri!" Hitomi objected, blushing. "He's your cousin! How can you suggest that?"

  


"So? It doesn't mean I don't realize he's gorgeous..."

  


Hitomi felt her blush working its way down her neck. "Bri... Please?"

  


"Oh, you're impossible. I bet you haven't even kissed him yet." Bri sighed, but then gave Hitomi a gentle smile as they hit the steps.

  


"I..."

  


"It's okay. Van's different than I am. He takes things slow, building something than last. The house that is build on a foundation of stone, rather than sand, and all that. I think you and he really fit, but you need to find the right way to discover each other." Then Bri winked. "Though I did get you something to maybe make a prettier house." She pulled out a tiny package wrapped in shiny blue wrapping paper.

  


Hitomi was touched by the gesture, but reaching out, she hesitated a thought crossed her mind. "This isn't condoms, is it?" Knowing Bri, she wouldn't put it past her.

  


"No!" Bri huffed, sounding offended. "Didn't you just listen to me? You and Van need to take things slow." 

  


Hitomi bowed her head. "I'm sorry." She grabbed the package and tore into it, blinking a bit as she unwrapped a tube of strawberry lip gloss. "I-"

  


"I know you don't wear make up, but this is special!" Bri winked playfully. "Just because you need to go slow doesn't mean I think a snail should move faster than you, babe! Van loves strawberries best."

  


"BRI!" Hitomi yelled, but it was too late. The other girl had taken off, laughing her head off. Hitomi was left alone, staring at the "Kiss Kiss" strawberry gloss, wondering. Without allowing herself to think about it, she uncapped it and applied it.

  


***************************

  


The sky was a beautiful light blue as she crossed the lawn toward where Van was standing, waiting for her. She smiled at him, her heart feeling lighter at the sight of his handsome face. Today he was wearing a red shirt, and it brought her back to Fanelia, when he had loved her. He didn't love her yet, not as deeply, but he would. Today was their first real date, and she knew it would be wonderful.

  


Van hadn't noticed her arrival, as he was facing her dorm, obviously expecting her to come from that

direction. She took the opportunity to study him, notice the maturity time had brought to his body. 

  


His face had always been angular, and the years had done nothing to change that. At twenty – for that was what he had told her he was last night – his features were striking and memorable, and she knew that he would age well. His dark chocolate were set above high cheek bones and under graceful eyebrows, and the impish grin she could surprise from him complemented it well. His lips were a bit too thin, perhaps, but there was something about the way he tilted his head knowingly that made his presence known.

  


He was tall, taller than she would have thought him able to become. He had always struck her as one of those who would never gain any great height, but now that she saw him as a man, she realized he had merely been a late bloomer. She remembered his brother, and realized that Folken had had a similar build. 

  


He wasn't handsome in a traditional sense, and he had none of Allan's sheer beauty, but there was something arresting about him. She knew that eyes would follow him wherever he went, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't fade into the background.

  


A legacy, perhaps, of a life as a king. She shook herself from her mental wanderings. It was the here and now that was important. "Van!" she called.

  


He didn't start from surprise, as most people would, but turned to face her smoothly. She smiled as his face softened, and he lifted a hand to wave at her. "Hitomi!" he said in reply. "I hope I'm not too early?"

  


"Never." She gave him a grin. "Bri dragged me off, which is why I'm running a bit late. I'm sorry," she apologized.

  


He held out his arms, and she stepped into them, accepting his embrace. "It's fine," he said, pressing his face into her hair. "I know how those things happen."

  


Her arms crept around him, and she was quiet, listening to the warm thud of his heart. He felt warm, and real. Holding Donovan was better than holding the Van of her dreams for just that reason. It wasn't a dream anymore.

  


She didn't know how long they stood there, but when she heard the catcalls from passing students, she pulled back, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Are we getting lunch?" she asked, trying to ignore the hot blush that she knew had to be coloring her face.

  


"I have a picnic lunch in my car," he said. "I thought it might be nice to find somewhere quiet and just talk. I don't have to be back until four, so maybe we can go to a park."

  


She liked the idea. "You made a lunch?" she asked curiously.

  


"I can cook!" he said. "I did buy dessert, but that was because I'm not that good at making chocolate chip cookies."

  


He had noticed. Taking his hand, she let him lead her to his car.

  


The park he chose was about half an hour from campus, even though it was still in the city. Somehow it seemed isolated, even though there were other picnickers around. She wasn't surprised that the food was wonderful, though eating outside always made her hungrier. 

  


Van teased her with the chocolate chip cookies, keeping them out of her reach. "You need to keep in shape for running," he told her.

  


She scowled at him. "I can run you into the ground."

  


"Probably," he admitted. "If you're good, I'll let you have one."

  


Her eyes lingered on the box longingly. "What's good?"

  


"I'll let you know," he said, hiding the box behind him with a wink.

  


It was fun, to be lighthearted and carefree. She had missed the feeling.

  


With the wind blowing around them, and the scent of fresh-cut grass coming from under the blanket they were sitting on, she felt free. Smiling at him, she stared into his eyes, realizing that it didn't matter if Donovan Masanori was Van Fanel.

  


All that mattered was that he made her happy.

  


"Hitomi, if someone said they could grant you anything in this world, what would it be?" he asked idly.

  


"One of those cookies," she answered. 

  


He blinked in surprise. "You wouldn't wish to be a world-class runner or for world peace? Nothing grandiose?"

  


She shook her head. "Everything really worth having has to be worked for. So... I'd settled for a cookie. It's the little things, life's simple pleasures, that we can just ask each other for. What would you ask for?"

  


He thought for a second. "I think I'd settle for a kiss," he said, and the smile faded from his lips, replaced by something utterly serious.

  


Her breath caught. She and Bri had been talking about kissing, but...

  


"I'll give you a kiss if you give me a cookie," she whispered in reply. 

  


Van moved over to her, cupping her face between his hands. Slowing, his lips descended on hers, and she felt something inside of her uncoil as she responded. The light pressure was inquisitive, but Hitomi welcomed it. His kiss tasted like chocolate and made her body burn. She leaned forward, pressing herself against him, embracing the sweet feeling of homecoming and exploration. Her breath stopped as his hands pulled away and he drew back, only to rest his forehead against hers.

  


"I think I should have bought more cookies," he said. 

  


That had hardly been what she'd been expecting, and she blinked in surprise. Then she realized what he was implying, and started to laugh.

  


Around three, they packed up their supplies and went back to campus. She leaned against Van's side as he pulled into the parking lot by her dorm.

  


"I wish we had more time," she said.

  


"Are you doing anything tonight?" he asked. "I have to study, but maybe you could come over? I know we're not in the same classes, but..."

  


"I'd like that. Is seven okay?" she asked.

  


"It sounds great," he said, getting out of the car and going around to open she door.

  


He was a gentleman, she thought. Sliding out of the door with his help, she leaned on his arm a bit so she could stretch. "I think--" she began, but was interrupted by a voice from behind them.

  


"Ah, Van!" a voice called, one she recognized. "I was hoping I'd see you!"

  


She turned around with Van, about to demand what Amano was doing on campus and how he knew Van... but her voice caught in her throat.

  


Long golden hair flew away from a beautiful face, one which she had seen every time she saw her best friend's fiancé. But it wasn't Amano...

  


She knew she shouldn't have been surprised to see him, since she knew Van and Merle were on Earth, but the heart rarely listened to the head's reason. It was another spike in her stability to see him, this man she had thought she was in love with, had confused herself and Van over. He was exactly as she remembered him, though he now wore the clothes of a resident of Earth, rather than an Asturian knight. 

Allen Schezar stood before her, and unlike Van, he hadn't changed at all. 

  
  


***************************

  


END PART FIVE

  
  
  


Up Next: The Chariot

Keywords: Victory, Will, Self-Assurance, Hard Control

  


Technical Notes:

  


Gaijin: foreigner. Usually some social stigmas attached.

  


Love hotel: Places where people rent rooms to have sex, often decorated with "themes." Yes, I have heard of a Hello Kitty Room. 


	7. The Chariot

Aishuu Offers:  
**Mystic Eyes**  
Disclaimer: Escaflowne is Copyright ©) 1996-2000 Sunrise, TV Tokyo/Bandai Entertainment, Inc./Egan Loo.

* * *

Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice. Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as long as the copyright message (Copyright ©) 1995-2002 by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in commercial documents or products, or used for promotional purposes.

PART SIX: THE CHARIOT

Keywords:

Victory, Will

Asserting Yourself, Hard Control  
_  
Picture Julius Caesar riding his chariot triumphantly into Rome. He has defeated his enemies and conquered vast, new lands. This is the spirit of the Chariot. Card 7 represents the victories that are possible through willpower and self-mastery. A military image is appropriate for the Chariot because this card stands for the strengths associated with combat - discipline, grit, determination and assertiveness._

The Chariot represents the positive aspects of the ego. A healthy ego is one that is strong and self-assured. It knows what it wants and how to get it. We can get annoyed at someone whose ego is too _healthy, but we often turn to that person to lead us through difficult moments. We know he or she won't be wishy-washy._

In readings, the Chariot often appears when hard control is or could be in evidence. At its best, hard control is not brutal, but firm and direct. It is backed up by a strong will and great confidence. The Chariot can mean self-control or control of the environment. This card also represents victory. There are many types of wins; the Chariot's is of the win-lose type. Your success comes from beating the competition to become number one. Such moments are glorious in the right circumstances. 

* * *

Moments ticked by as Hitomi stared, entranced again by the spell of his beauty. She clung to Van's hand and gazed at the blond hair that looked like it had been spun from pure gold, wondering why she hadn't really considered that he would be here as well. She had thought of it, in passing after meeting that stranger, but she really hadn't dreamt they would meet again - and she should have. If Van and Merle were on Earth in different incarnations, it stood to reason that the others were there as well. She questioned if she was up to dealing with Dilandau or Folken, should they appear.

Now, though, she had to deal with this unsettling curve her life had thrown at her again. She knew her silence was telling, but she couldn't find her voice. The touch of Van's hand on her shoulder startled her.

"Hitomi?" Van prodded. "Do you know him?" He spoke with concern, not jealousy.

"In another life, another world," she returned just low enough for Van to hear, staring at Allen. She was unsure whether to stay and face the unavoidable, or to hide behind Van, and beg him to protect her from herself. There was so much she had never resolved, so much guilt over never seeing that Allen was not the one for her as she turned away from Van time and time again to pursue the elusive fantasy of the Asturian knight. She had been chasing the dream of Amano, her first love, and hadn't realized it until too late. She hadn't seen what she already had.

Van's eyes hardened and he nodded so slightly that she almost didn't see it. He and Allen had never gotten along well, and perhaps some of those feelings had carried over in Donovan's subconscious from that life. He clasped her hand gently and rested it against his chest, and she felt the pendant through his thin shirt, the tangible embodiment of all the promises between them. "I understand," he whispered into her ear, before turning his attention to the interloper. "Allen, what are you doing here? I thought you were over in England?" he demanded in English.

Hitomi spoke the foreign language well enough to follow what was being said, but the stress in Van's voice would have clued her in on what the gist of what he meant even if she didn't. Van was being protective of her, trying to make sure anything that made her unhappy couldn't reach her.

Allen still had the same name, she noted almost as an afterthought, and she watched him walk forward with the same casual elegance that had always entranced her. It was as though he was dancing while others walked, she had once thought, and the description still fit. Although he was wearing black slacks and an expensive beige shirt, which was probably made of cashmere, she still saw afterimages of the flowing Asturian garments he had worn on Gaea.

"Lan's transferred over here, and Serena, of course, followed him. We're not sure why Lan got it into his head to come here, but Mother decided that I'd have to chaperone them. You know how much trouble they get into," Allan answered in offhand English. He spoke familiarly to Van, though his eyes lingered on her. "Who's the girl?" he asked. "She looks familiar."

Van ignored his question, replying with one of his own. "And you just dropped your studies and waltzed off?"

"I'm doing an independent study on Japanese culture. I'll be emailing my professor my observations, homework, some pictures... Graduate work is nice in some ways. It takes lots of time, but the hours are flexible." He smiled at Hitomi, the puzzlement fading from his eyes as he turned his natural charm. "Are you going to introduce us, Van?" he asked, switching to Japanese.

His speech was almost as flawlessly without accent as Van's, though it wasn't perfect. It jarred her; on Gaea, he had spoken her tongue perfectly. The slightly English accent made her realize that he, too, had been reborn on her Earth and was not the same man she had known.

She smiled and held at her hand when it became apparent Van didn't want to obey Allen's request. "Kanzaki Hitomi," she said softly.

"Allen Schezar, Eighth Earl of Astur," he said, bowing over her hand before kissing the back of it. "From England."

Her eyes widened slightly as he revealed his title, and she felt Van clenched, before she laughed. Allen still was noble, in a perfect symmetry she couldn't help but appreciate. "So... What's the proper address?" she asked, even as she leaned into Van's side, trying to reassure him that she wasn't about to wander away from him because of a pretty face. Allen had been more than that, but few people bothered to see beyond the exterior and she could understand Van's concern.

"Lord," Van said through gritted teeth.

"So... Schezar-ojisama?" she asked, giving guileless green eyes and a sweet smile.

Allen blinked. "I don't think it translates very well..."

"Perhaps not," Hitomi agreed. She was baiting him, she realized. Allen had been one of her closest friends, but she had always been divided between him and Van. Now she was unable to stop making it clear where her loyalties lay. Her head was spinning from the shock of seeing him.

Van looked down at his small girlfriend quickly and then across at the fair-haired Englishman who stood in front of them. "Shouldn't you be worried about the terrible two?" he asked, falling into Japanese. "Heaven knows what kind of trouble they'll get into."

Allen sighed and tossed his head, sending his hair cascading over his shoulder like a molten gold waterfall. "You and I both know I have no control over them. I'm pretty much here to fish them out of trouble when they get into it..."

"Or jail," Van said darkly.

Hitomi had a queasy feeling. She remembered Allen's desperate search for Serena, and who she had turned out to be. Now, there was talk of two siblings, and one was named Serena, and the other was called Lan... Surely... She clenched Van's hand tightly, and felt her knuckles turn white. Her mind was supplying an answer which was making all-too-much sense, and she didn't want to accept it.

"Lan's not that bad," Allan said, but his voice sounded a bit lack luster and pale, something that made her inch behind Van a bit more.

Van merely quirked an eyebrow at the blonde man.

"Well... At least I hope not."

Hitomi stared at the new ghost that had just risen, and tugged Van's hand. "Van... I have to practice. I'm sorry, but..." She rose on her toes and kissed Van briefly on the lips, still not comfortable with the familiarity, but needing to establish her allegiance.

Van seemed to settle a bit. "I'll come with you," he offered.

She shook her head. "I need to run, and you need to get to your class, Van. It was nice to meet you, Schezar-sama," she said. She looked over at Van and smiled. "Remember to pick me up at seven tonight." She waved her hand, and then ran towards the field.

* * *

She didn't go running immediately. She felt guilty about that, but her conscience wasn't enough to keep her from going to her room instead. She needed time to think.

Hitomi's mind was able to give her plenty of things to keep itself busy with, most of them rather unpleasant. She didn't want to deal with this, but she supposed that she should have been expecting it. She had Van back, and she knew it was worth it - but she feared when it would be time to tell him about Gaea, and their adventures there. Hitomi dreaded that moment, but Allen's appearance made the matter more than pressing.

Allen Schezar, the man who had given her first kiss. She could still remember her shock as he declared she was his woman to protect her, and the cool press of his lips against hers as he proved it by kissing her in front of the entire court.

Why was he here, now? Shaking her head, she unlocked her dorm room, and let herself in, throwing herself across her bed. She didn't want to deal with this now, but Van would be expecting answers. Rolling over on her back, she pressed a hand against her forehead, trying to think on how to handle things.

_One foot in front of the other... that's how you win the race, _she thought. _Don't look at the awesome distance from the goal - look toward carrying yourself the next ten feet._

First thing would be giving Van some more of the truth. She remembered seeing the necklace she had given him, the proof that he was indeed the same man she had loved a world away, and knew that they would find their direction together.

_We'll do this together, _she thought. _He trusts me: I need to trust in him, and have faith that he loves me enough not to think I'm completely insane._

A few more deep breaths stabilized her mind even further, as she thought of her next pressing problem... Allen. He hadn't recognized her, and she hoped things stayed like that. Whenever she had looked at him, all she had seen was Amano-senpai. She had never loved him; she had never seen him for himself, and perhaps it was time to take this second chance she was offered, and become a better person for it. She was treating Bridget as a person in her own right, since she hadn't recognized her immediately, so maybe it would be best to do the same for Allen.

Van and Bridget weren't the same people - the same souls perhaps, but a lifetime on Earth had subtly changed them. Allen was probably like that as well. She should give him a fresh start, this new Allen.

Another deep breath, and she shut her eyes. She needed to stay calm, stay ready, because there were probably others out there, ready to touch her life. She wasn't sure what the catalyst had been, but she was suddenly associating with people she had loved and lost who had managed to do the impossible and return to her, and she needed to be properly grateful. She needed to give this life a chance.

Hitomi felt the tension melt away, and stretched her legs slowly, realizing that she still had to get in the run she had mentioned to Van. It would feel good to get moving, and wash away the last of her fears. Adrenaline was a great healer. It only took a few minutes to find her shoes, and she quickly changed into more appropriate gear, tied her hair out of her face, and grabbed her keys.

The security guard at the desk was the one who had given her the information on sexual assault, and Hitomi averted her eyes and she rushed by. Her face was stained with a brilliant crimson, not wanting to think about what that guard probably thought of her now.

If there was one thing that was steady in her life, it was her running, and she set her pace quicker than she should have, especially with all the meets she would be participating in. She was pushing herself too hard, but there was no one to chide her for it now, and she wanted her feet to match her racing mind. One foot hit the ground, and then the other. Air filled her lungs as she kept her breathing even, and she willed it to clear away her apprehension.

She had always been running toward Van - she knew that now - but that didn't mean she had to run away from other people. There was no reason she couldn't be friends with Allen. Allen had always been a kind person, truly worthy of the title knight.

She could feel the muscles in her body loosen as she came to that realization, and her pace steadied. She slowed down slightly, running with her arms nearly motionless as she settled into a more sedate jog.

She ran for forty minutes before heading back to the dorm, cooling down for the last five. She needed a shower, she needed to make sure she had her books ready. She doubted they would get much studying done, but appearances had to be maintained.

She spent a bit more time in the shower than needed, basking in the scent of the mango soap. She liked bath gels, and she traced the soft poof, lathered with foam, over her body. She imagined how it would feel, to have Van's hands touch her here, or touch her there. She hoped he would find her satisfying to look at, to kiss and caress. She wondered if Van's eyes would darken in passion on seeing her toned body, if his muscles would feel as firm and strong as they looked...

Hitomi blushed a bit as she recognized the intimacy of her thoughts. She and Van barely knew each other, and already she was imagining a more intimate relationship. Hurriedly she rinsed and turned the shower off, stepping out briskly rubbing her sensitized skin with a coarse towel.

It was still too early for Van to arrive, and she found herself fiddling over her closet, trying to find something to wear. She wanted to look nice for him, but it was only a study date, and she really shouldn't dress up for it. She discarded outfit after outfit, throwing them across her normally immaculate bed in frustration. Too dressy, too old, too clubby...

She had never really fussed over her clothes like this before, and she found a seed of dissatisfaction with herself take root in her stomach. This wasn't her, she thought, even as she debated whether or not to wear a skirt. It took her four times as long to finally dress. She had finally reigned in her frivolous side, settling for jeans and a tank, over which she added a sheer blouse. It was a hint of sensuality in an otherwise casual outfit.

She debated whether she should go to the cafeteria and grab something to eat, but her stomach twisted nervously, rejecting that idea. She looked at the clock, saw she had an hour and half to go, and decided she should call her mother.

Her mother picked up the phone right before the fourth ring, the way she always did. Hitomi smiled as a slightly breathy "Moshi moshi!" greeted her.

"It's me," she said.

"Hitomi!" Kanzaki Sasaki sounded delighted to hear from her daughter. "It's early for you to be calling, isn't it?" Even though she left chipper, rambling, nagging messages daily, it was usually while Hitomi was in class.

"I had a moment," Hitomi said, feeling a bit guilty that she only called once a week. It was expensive, but it was an expenditure which was well worth the money. "How are you?"

"Fine, fine! I just dropped your brother off for a night with Mitsuru, so I have the place to myself until your father comes home. I probably should be doing laundry, but I think I'll put that off until tomorrow..."

Hitomi thought of her rapidly-filling clothes hamper. "I know how that goes," she said, giggling a bit. She was by nature a neat person, but she fought a never-ending battle with her laundry. She just couldn't seem to keep on top of it.

Her mother laughed as well. "You're better about it than I am. So what's happening in your life?"

"Not much," Hitomi tried not to hesitate, knowing her mother would hear it. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Oh?" Her mother sounded playful. "That's not what you said when I asked you to clean your room the last time you were visiting."

"I was fine with it the first time you asked. The fifth was pushing it, and the tenth made me want to kill you." Hitomi's mother was something of a nag at times, and Hitomi's patience tended to be severely tried at times while dealing with her.

Her mother laughed again. "Fine, fine. How's your social life? Have you met any cute boys?" It was a teasing question, but Hitomi knew there was a wistful hope as well. Hitomi's isolation had long worried her parents.

"What's my usual answer to that?" she asked a bit defensively. She hadn't told her mother about Van, even though she should have. Right now she felt like she was cradling a delicate crystal sculpture to her chest, one with unsurpassed beauty. She couldn't display it, not yet, not until she was sure that it was real and not about to be snatched away cruelly.

"Sometimes I wonder about you," her mother sighed.

"I've told you, I want to concentrate on my running."

"I know, I know... but I worry that you're missing out on your youth."

It had always been impossible for her to say how much her running meant to her. She would rather run than anything else; it was almost like her feet gave her wings, and she could fly free of the earth and all its constraints. "Mother..."

"Yes, yes, I know. Quit nagging," her mother replied cheerfully. "Now, about your schoolwork..."

Laughter bubbled out of Hitomi's lips. Her mother would never change. It was another fifteen minutes before they finally hung up, and Hitomi's spirits felt significantly cheered by the conversation.

The light on her answering machine was flashing; apparently someone had called while she and her mother had been talking. She dug out a pen and paper, poising herself to write down a number, just in case.

Yukari's concerned voice drifted out of the speaker.  
_  
Hitomi? Are you there? Did you get my first message? Are you... Are you mad at me? I... I really would understand, though it hurts to think our friendship ends like this. Please, call me so we can at least talk... I think you owe me that much?_

Setting her pen aside, Hitomi picked up the phone to sort things out, but another glance at the clock warned her she would be late. She made a mental note to call her friend later - one which would be forgotten, understandably, in a couple of hours.

* * *

Surprisingly, they did get some studying done, despite the distraction of each other's presence. Van had a test coming up, and he was disciplined enough to focus. She was able to draw on the quiet company he was offering, comfortable on the couch they were sharing as she leaned against his side. Every now and then, his fingers would brush a feathery caress on her arm, like he was assuring himself she was there and she was real.

She enjoyed his quiet company, relieved that she didn't feel it necessary to make conversation or flirt with him. _It is in the silence,_ she thought, _that love is shown._

After an hour and a half, he shifted suddenly, and she fell back into his lap in surprise. Her head rested on his math textbook, and she stared up in confusion. "What?" she asked, feeling a blush creep on her face.

His fingers were gentle as they traced the curve of her face, lingering on her cheek. "I was going to ask if you'd like some kind of refreshment. Food, drink?" He smiled down at her.

"Tempting..." she replied. "Do I choose remaining here, or do I reply to my need for sustenance?" she asked with a teasing gleam in her eye. She was starting to feel the skipped dinner, but she was more comfortable than she'd been in ages. She wanted him to keep looking at her like that, like she made up his entire world.

He laughed and pressed a familiar kiss to her forehead. "How about we work for another half hour, then we can grab some snacks and watch a movie?" he asked. "I'll walk you home, or you can crash in Merle's room."

A very small part of her - which she quickly suppressed - wanted to ask to crash with _him._ She wanted to be close to him, wanted to feel the touch of his body. There had been times, after leaving Gaea, she wondered what it would have been like to have sex with him. She wondered if their joining could be as magical as she dreamed, a communion of souls that had been created especially to love each other.

Her cheeks gave a slight blush as she thought on it. "That- would be fine," she managed to get out in a relatively normal voice.

He quirked an eyebrow at her but didn't ask any questions. "Can you move just a little to the right so I can get my book?" he asked.

Without saying anything, she scooted down a bit so her head was resting against his thigh. She propped her book on her stomach and started to read again, wallowing in a sensation of contentment. This was happiness. This was what she had been missing... but why did she feel that something was about to happen?

She remembered the spread of Tarot cards she had laid for Van, and looked over nervously. _The Tower..._ Danger was coming. Despite the upheaval she had already brought to his life, her instincts warned her that something else, something horrible, was on the way.

It was a feeling she couldn't shake. Shivering a bit to herself, she leaned back, savoring the warmth of his body. _Have faith, _she told herself. _Beyond the Tower, the World is waiting for us. We just have to be strong enough to make it through._

Almost as if her thoughts had summoned the challenge, the door swung open.

* * *

Up Next:

Chapter Seven: The Strength

Keywords: Strength, Patience, Compassion, Soft Control 


	8. The Strength

_ Aishuu Offers:_  
**Mystic Eyes**  
Disclaimer: Escaflowne is Copyright ©) 1996-2000 Sunrise, TV Tokyo/Bandai Entertainment, Inc./Egan Loo.  
Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice. Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as long as the copyright message (Copyright ©) 1995-2002 by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in commercial documents or products, or used for promotional purposes.

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PART SEVEN: THE STRENGTH__

Keywords: Strength, Patience, Compassion, Soft Control

Usually we think of strength in physical terms - big arms, powerful legs - but there is also inner strength. Inner strength comes from an exercise of the heart muscle. It is perseverance, courage, resolve and composure - qualities that help us endure when times are tough. In the past, a person with inner strength was commonly said to have character; he or she could be counted on in the darkest moments. Card 8 represents this energy of quiet determination. Strength is not a flashy card, but one that is solid and reliable.

Card 8 also represents patience and compassion. Getting angry is easy when events turn sour, but dealing calmly with frustration takes great strength. So does accepting others and forgiving mistakes. We need strength to mold situations softly. The Chariot controls through mastery and authority. Card 8 is more subtle, even loving. Notice how the lion (itself a symbol of strength) is being guided and tamed by the woman's gentle hands.

Card 8 will appear in a reading when its qualities are needed. It can be a reminder not to despair or give up. You have the inner strength to endure and triumph. If you are pushing too hard, you need to withdraw for the moment and be patient. If other people or circumstances are driving you crazy, remember the strength that comes with love and forbearance. These will see you through the hardest moments.  


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Hitomi woke abruptly, disorientated by the sensation of being in a strange place. Behind her, she could hear Bridget's soft breathing.

Hitomi herself lounged on the futon she and Van had spread out earlier. She could hear the sound of her own blood rushing in her ears, her adrenaline on and racing through her body, warning her that something was out of place.

_What woke me up?_ she wondered. There was nothing overtly wrong, and the clock was staring at her, proclaiming it was 3:37 a.m. The moonlight slitting through the venetian blinds illuminated the room with a ghostly glow, and she made herself consciously choose to not tense up. Her breathing steadied, just like it did when she was running, coming slow and deep.

_Take time, if you have it, and think things through. _ It had been a strategy which always aided her. She counted backward from ten, before opening her eyes to evaluate the situation.

Bridget was out for the count, Hitomi realized as she glanced at the redhead. Her hair was mussed and she looked like a kitten, her body wrapped around a full body pillow. Hitomi vaguely remembered her tripping in after midnight, stumbling into bed with her clothes on. She'd probably been at a party and gotten drunk. Hitomi could smell a hint of alcohol lingering around the girl.

Another blink of her eyes, and she realized that she could hear the soft murmur of voices, coming from somewhere within the apartment. Van had gone to bed at the same time as she had, so there was someone else in the house. Their presence was probably what had pulled her from sleep.

Nodding to herself, she weighed her options. If Van had wanted her, he could have woken her up earlier, so there was no need for her to barge in. It would be polite to leave him to his guest, to show that she didn't have to be the center of his attention constantly. On the other hand, she had a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, a sensation that the person out there was someone she should meet. She knew she had good instincts, and it would be stupid to ignore them. Shutting her eyes, she thought of her pendant, asking for advice.

There was that _pull_ again, and in her mind's eye she saw the pendant swing with certainty toward the door. Nodding to herself, she rose to her feet, taking decisive action. She borrowed the robe that hung on the back of the door, tying the belt twice around her waist. Merle - Bridget, she reminded herself - was too deeply asleep to notice her movement, and she paused in the doorway, glancing back with an affectionate smile on her lips.

The living room was alien now in the darkness, and she squinted, trying to make out shapes to avoid crashing into a table or something worse. It would make sense to flick the light on, but she didn't for fear of waking Bridget - at least that's what she told herself. It only took a moment to pinpoint where the sound was coming from - the light in the kitchen was on.

"...let yourself get dragged along with him. I know you love him, but you can't live his life." Van was speaking firmly, with conviction that blazed through his words. He sounded every inch the king that he had once been, and it sent a shiver through her.

"He's my younger brother, Donovan!" The feminine voice was high with protest. It sounded vaguely familiar, pulling on the edge of Hitomi's awareness. She couldn't place it, which meant little, but furthered her feeling of unease.

"So? He's a lost cause," Van said. "You can't throw your future down the drain." His volume dropped abruptly, and his next words were lost to Hitomi.

She stood slightly behind the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room, peeking around the corner. With the lighting the way it was, she had a clear view of Van sitting with a girl she didn't know, underneath the intimate light cast by a small, dangling lamp that hung right over the tiny kitchen table.

The girl was a pretty blond, and her features were frustratingly familiar. Then it came to her, but she didn't want to admit it. She had always seen them twisted in rage, but now they were softened by compassion and worry. Her chin was a bit too pointy for classical beauty, but she definitely caught the eye.

She looked like Dilandau, Hitomi thought after a long moment. Hitomi forced herself to take a deep breath to calm down. She had known this was coming - or something like it. Everyone on Gaea hadn't been a friend, and it was foolishness to believe that only her friends had been reborn. She told herself not to panic. For all Dilandau's insanity, he had started out as Allen's sister.

It was very strange to be meeting her here, in Van's house. It was true she had been Allen's sister, but she had also been changed into a pyromaniacal sadist.

Was this girl The Tower that she had read in Van's cards? Certainly Dilandau's capability for destruction would fit.

_No,_ she decided, _Dilandau can't destroy us._ In the end, he had not proved to be the worst threat. He wasn't powerful enough to be The Tower.

She had to shake herself out of her musings to concentrate on what was going on. Van was saying something which Hitomi couldn't decipher. Her brain, despite the shock, was still functioning slowly, and her attention fixated on the gentle hand Van lay across the girl's. He seemed to be trying to reassure her, and the girl was denying it. They were speaking in English again, and Hitomi struggled to focus her still sleep-fogged mind to understand what they were saying.

"-understand," the girl said, her tone becoming sharper with anger. "We've been over this before, and I still say the same thing: I will not leave Lan."

"Then why did you come here tonight?" Van asked.

"Maybe because-" the girl said, stopping abruptly. She turned to the door, where Hitomi was lurking, and arced an expressive eyebrow. "It seems we have company," she continued.

Van turned as well. "Hitomi? Can you come here?" he asked, switching to Japanese. He offered her a slight smile, but it faded quickly as the stranger spoke.

"Does she speak English?" The girl was asking Van, a slight crease marring her brow.

"Good enough to understand you," Hitomi said, feeling a bit annoyed.

The girl blushed with embarrassment. "That was rude of me, wasn't it? I'm sorry, I just don't speak Japanese very well..."

Van saw the tension, and worked to dispel it. "This is Serena Schezar, she's Allen's sister. Serena, this is Kanzaki Hitomi."

He motioned for Hitomi to join him, and she walked over to his side. She was a bit surprised when he pushed his chair out, offering her room to sit in his lap. A bit self-consciously, she slid onto Van's knee. She wasn't used to such familiarity, but his touch made her relax and feel warm somewhere inside. Without thinking on why she was doing it, she leaned forward to kiss his cheek, a territorial instinct getting the better of her manners.

_Mine._

He looked surprised, but Serena smile tightly, acknowledging the ploy. Serena tilted her head as she studied Hitomi in the better lighting. "Have we met?"

"I've never been to England," Hitomi said in reply. Van's body went rigid since he understood her subterfuge almost instantly, but she pressed a hand to his leg, trying to reassure him.

"Guess not, then. You just... remind me of someone, I wish I could remember who." She tapped her chin with a manicured finger thoughtfully, before offering a shrug. "Well, it's nice to meet you." She bowed a bit from the waist, the movement gracefully executed.

"Nice to meet you," Hitomi echoed, lying through her teeth. She wished this other girl would drop off the face of the planet. She didn't like being jealous, but this girl probably knew Van quite well. Added to the fact that her former personality had been an enemy, it created a predisposition for Hitomi to dislike her.

"I'm afraid I haven't heard much about you," she said. "Van's always quiet about his private life - he won't even talk about it with his new friends."

_Touche,_ Hitomi thought. "I appreciate that. It's nice to meet an old friend of his," she replied in a friendly tone, hoping she didn't sound catty this time.

Serena smiled a bit in feminine acknowledgment. Van was staring at the two with caution, like a puppy caught between two hissing cats. Warily he looked up at Hitomi, speaking in Japanese. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, nothing," she replied. "We're just getting to know each other." Serena's expression drew a frown at the conversation, and Hitomi chuckled before switching back to English. "We should use English. We shouldn't be rude to your guest."

Van shook his head, but was wise enough to keep his mouth shut.

"How long are you here for? Are you studying at the college?" Hitomi asked, deciding to get the facts immediately, so she could decide what to do.

"No, I'm taking a gap year," Serena replied, "along with my brother. We're going to attend Oxford next year."

She was smart as well as pretty, Hitomi realized reluctantly, despite her inability to speak Japanese. And if she was Allen's sister, she was rich. Hitomi, the daughter of working-class parents, knew she could only qualify as cute. It was hard not to be jealous. But Van was holding her, not this stranger.

"That's nice," Hitomi said, and the conversation stalled. She couldn't feel comfortable around Serena, and Van was smart enough to feel the tension between the two women. He looked like he was about to say something, but Serena spoke first.

"Van, can you go get me a mocha frappacino? I think it would help calm my nerves," said Serena.

"At four in the morning?" Van did not sound pleased with the idea.

"_Donovan..._," Serena said, her voice hitting an unpleasantly high note. "There's an all-night cyber café opened a block from here. I saw it on my way," Serena said. "It should take you half an hour, tops."

Van looked at Hitomi. "I'd rather stay here. It'd be rude to leave you alone."

She was tempted to take the out he offered, but it would be best if she and Serena sorted themselves out without his inhibiting presence. "It's not a problem," said Hitomi. "Serena-san and I can find something to talk about, I'm sure."

"Get her something that takes a while to make," Serena said with a pointed look at the door, clearly meaning that Van's presence wasn't currently desired.

"Low caf, if possible," Hitomi said after a moment. "And light on the sugar - it's not good for me, this late. Or this early."

"Okay, I get the hint! You want me gone for a bit." Van held up his hands defensively. "Hitomi, will you be okay?"

"Of course," she said, hoping she was telling the truth. Hitomi slid off his lap to allow him movement.

He rose, brushing her lips briefly with his own. "You have my cell number. Call if you need me," he said.

"If we need you, I will," Hitomi agreed, hoping she was communicating that she was alright with the situation to him.

A bit of the tension around his eyes relaxed, and she gave him another smile before he stepped out. She could hear him in the hallway, fumbling a bit, as he retrieved a jacket, and a slight jingle assured her he had his keys. A creak, the sound of the door shutting, then the click of the lock and he was gone.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Hitomi asked.

Serena took a deep breath, before exhaling slowly. "I'm not a threat to you," Serena said. "Van is Allen's best friend, and they both watched me grow up. He's like another big brother."

"You like him, though," Hitomi said. "I can see it in your eyes."

"Does that matter? He doesn't like me." Serena heaved a heavy smile. "When I was little, I had a crush on Van. He was always so kind to me, and never brushed me off. Allen was a great brother, but there were times when I knew I was bothering him. And Lan was always..." she trailed off. "Van, though, always made time for me."

"He's a kind person," Hitomi said.

"I agree," Serena answered, before leaning forward slightly and offering a smile that was less than pleasant. "And as his honorary sister, I just want you to know that if you hurt him, I'll break your leg."

Serena's twisted expressions reminded Hitomi far too much of Dilandau. Hitomi shifted on her seat uncomfortably, reminding herself that Serena was not Dilandau, even if she had been in a past life. "If I hurt him, I'd let you break both of them without fighting," Hitomi answered levelly.

The hostility on Serena's face faded as she abruptly burst into laughter. Her laughter was real, not the giggles of a teenager or the polite, contained chuckles of a socialite, but rather the deep, loud ripples of an amused woman. "At least you have your priorities straight," Serena said.

"And if I see you going after him, I'll break both of _your_ legs," Hitomi added, winking playfully, although she might have been telling the truth.

Serena's amusement faded, replaced by a melancholy expression. "You don't need to worry. I can't give him what he deserves – and you might be able to."

Had it been six months ago, Hitomi might have doubted that. But since Van had returned to her, she had discovered her faith. She could believe in Serena, because there was no reason not to. Serena was not Dilandau.

_But he's probably still out there,_ Hitomi thought, not without fear. There was _Lan_... but she shouldn't borrow trouble. She had enough to deal with.

She blinked, realizing that her distraction had led her to silence. Serena was staring at her, a blush of embarrassment starting to form along her neck. How much had it cost, by giving up pride and hope, for Serena to admit that?

Hitomi smiled at her, hoping to keep Serena from becoming too anxious. "I'll do my best," she promised, reaching out and squeezing the Englishwoman's hands warmly with her own. "And just because I'm with Van doesn't mean he still won't need his friends. No person can ever be everything to another person."

When Van arrived back twenty minutes later, he found them in the kitchen baking cookies, giggling. A smile touched his lips, and he quietly set the drinks down on the table, before announcing he was going to bed. He kissed Hitomi on the cheek, murmured a polite farewell to Serena, and then turned back to his bedroom.

Hitomi watched him go. A part of her was disappointed he hadn't wanted to keep them company. Glancing at the clock, she noted that it was pushing five – sunrise wouldn't be too far away.

"He's going to be exhausted tomorrow," Serena murmured, as though reading Hitomi's thoughts. "Two hours of sleep does not a happy Van make."

She winced, feeling bad about it although it was Serena's fault. Checking the clock, she noted that the second batch would take another ten minutes to finish. "And I've got to get back to my dorm so I can change for a run," Hitomi said reluctantly. Part of the whole track star package was training, training, and more training. An imp of mischief prompted her to ask, "Would you like to come?"

Serena waved her hands defensively, almost comedic with a flash of panic. "No! Definitely no!"

"Never say I didn't offer."

"Someone needs to finish the baking!" Serena insisted.

Hitomi removed the borrowed apron she'd put on top of her equally borrowed robe. "Then I guess it's a good thing you're here," she replied, folding it up neatly and putting it into the drawer it had been discovered inside. She still wasn't sure why they'd decided making chocolate chip cookies was a good idea. "Are you going to be okay with the cleaning?" she asked a bit guiltily.

"I'll make Bri do it if she wants any," Serena replied. She handed over one of the first batch to Hitomi. "Should be cool enough to eat now."

Hitomi knew her hips would regret it, but she sank her teeth into the warm cookie happily. The chocolate was perfectly gooey.

Five minutes later she was putting on her shoes to leave when Serena asked, "Shouldn't you wake Bri?"

The idea of dealing with a hung-over Bridget made Hitomi cringe. Even though it was more likely Bridget would probably bounce right up. Dealing with ultra perky before sunrise was too much to ask. "She'll have a cookie-cooking mess to clean up," Hitomi replied with a grin. "That should be enough exercise for her."

It was to the sound of Serena's laughter that Hitomi left. Although it had the same tone as Dilandau's had, it only sounded happy, not mad. Hitomi clung to that thought as the chill of the night air hit her full-force.

_This was not Gaea, _she told herself. _ There is no one who wants to destroy us this time._

But the phantom thought of the unknown Lan lingered in her mind.

_Up Next: The Devil  
Keywords: Bondage, Materialism  
Ignorance, hopelessness_


End file.
